tests.

It's the second curricular assessment for my school this week. Should be a relaxing week for us teachers as we get to put teaching and learning at the back of our heads for at least 3 days tops. Now that we suddenly have this Jadual Pengawasan Peperiksaan, I can't really relax anymore as the time is extended and I am put in classes known to challenge the iman.

If you ask me, test or no test, these classes remain the same. Except a wee bit quieter. For one, they don't care if it's the monthly test, mid year exam or even the high stakes examination. When I entered the class this morning (30 minutes prior to the BM paper), a student asked so matter-of-factly "Cikgu harini periksa apa?". Exactly.

Clearly, they didn't even care. It's a pity that they're not taking their education seriously. Not that I'm saying examination is the education, but to think that they're not even aware of what's going on is so frustrating.

For the first time in my entire life, I witnessed students remained in their seats, did nothing, and some even slept throughout the entire 1 hour. Some sang songs like there is no test taking place, name-callings. You name them, they did them. When the time is up, clean, empty papers were submitted again. Bazir kertas sungguh. Meniru is so common that sometimes I am caught in between reprimanding or simply ignoring this offence. Because, really, both of them will end up giving the wrong answers anyway. You know what I mean. Haha

I told my mom. She wasn't that surprised. Perhaps she was right. Throughout my entire schooling life, I was lucky to be in the so-called better streamed class. The word 'exam' or 'test' is highly regarded that if you're not stressed by just hearing it, some checking needs to be done.

So, this scenario that I'm facing in school is totally new. While the 'kelas depan' (as they call it) is all stressed out that the test is on this week for understandable reasons (i.e. aim for as many A's as possible, will 1 hour be sufficient?, will I be able to cover everything?), the 'kelas hujung' is also facing stressful time as they will be bored to death during the entire test period. For one, they do not know what to write. And second, they had to be quiet for one hour which to them is a very very demanding task. Trust me on that.

Everything is so easy to them. They come to school as they please, and when they do, they hardly bring any books with them. Dahla dapat buku teks free. I don't know what else do they want. Makes me wonder why do they ever come to school in the first place. And they love to main kejar-kejar with the teachers. Been there, done that. Many times I ended up like a mad woman searching high and low for these missing students. It's not fun when you had to walk from block to block in your heels and your baju kurung especially on a very hot day. Yes, a teacher's gotta do what a teacher's gotta do. But for how long? I can tell you that I'm in the brink of giving up already. Why trouble yourself when deep down you know these students don't care? One student said it straight to my face, "Teacher, saya sebenarnya dah taknak sekolah lagi. Saya nak kerja je".

And so, you slowly stop pushing and forcing because you know you can't bear the fruits no more. So am I at fault then? It's for you to ponder because many times teachers are blamed for everything.