When I first decided that I would babywear my second baby, I never would have imagined that I would marvel at its convenience and the fact that wearing my baby gives me that sense of confidence.

I started off with a wrap when Adeena was a newborn but I thought it was quite a lot of work; wrapping and getting ready took a lot of my time. 

When she was older, I got myself a ring sling, which was okay to wear. After awhile, my shoulder hurt and Adeena was getting heavier. Ring sling wasn't such a good idea anymore. 

Finally, I got myself a soft-structured carrier (SSC) when Adeena was bigger, her back was stronger and she can tilt her own head. Looking and browsing for the perfect SSC was, to me, like a kid having to choose his favourite candy in a candy store. There were just so so much to choose from. Every single one just caught my eye that I couldn't settle for one perfect one.

After much deliberation and discussion with le hubby, we purchased one from Boba.

The best purchase ever.

I look forward to wear my baby everytime we go out. No hassle of assembling another stroller and outing is such a breeze and just so fun. I have my baby close to me, close enough to read her cues, attuned to her movements, facial expression and gestures. And getting her to go to sleep is so easy. 

I can be close to my girl, and still attend to my boy with babywearing. Sibling care is easier!

Babywearing is such a great bonding tool not just for me, but for my husband too. I like it when he wears our girl (too bad no picture here haha). It is so apparent that the two are forging a strong attachment. Just melts my heart.

Of course, babywearing is a skill. There is indeed a learning curve with babywearing and one that I am still adjusting and acquiring. I am itchy to get myself another one but so far, I haven't gotten the green light. Yet. Haha

I can say that I am now a babywearer. I truly support this natural and universal way of handling your baby because of its many benefits, alongside with its relation to attachment parenting.

I would really promote babywearing if you are expecting another one because it is so much easier to start with a newborn rather than your running toddler. They are not used to being confined. At least Luqman is. We tried wearing him and only succeeded once. He didn't like it. So, carrying Adeena and getting her used to being worn has never been better. Of course, do your research first, read, ask around to get more information on babywearing and not just jump into the bandwagon of babywearing by getting unnecessary commercial baby carriers that might not be of good value to you and especially the baby. 

pain, pain go away

I haven't been sick for quite sometime, so when I was down with a major MAJOR dental pain, I was helpless. It was so terrible that everytime the pain jabs, I can only cry. And that's a lot of tears wasted.

It all started on Sunday when I woke up with an uncomfortable feeling of the gum. And then almost immediately it started to swell and I could feel that my temperature increased alongside with the pain. I thought it was just panas dalam and didn't give it much of a thought. I drank so much fluid I became bloated you have no idea. I still gorge down solid although I had to cringe everytime food enters my mouth and down my throat.

Then I started to look funny. My right side of the face swelled big time, right until my neck, just above the throat. Swallowing becomes a terrible chore and I could't open my mouth without wasting anymore tears. That night, after Maghrib off we rushed to the clinic.

I was fighting back pain while waiting for my turn. I couldn't even entertain Luqman properly as I was totally weak. The pain was just unbearable. When we went in, I tried so hard to open my mouth wide enough for the doctor to torch the inside of my mouth but to no avail. After the second try, I gave up. I just couldn't. 

Apparently, it wasn't ulcer as I had assumed. Rupanya gigi geraham bongsu nak tumbuh! Apparently it takes 11 years later to finally say hi. People say it will come out when you're 18 tops. I don't know about that. No wonder it was so painful!

It was downright painful. Made me realised and be grateful for His nikmat. Tarik sikit nikmat sihat, tak boleh makan, perit sangat rasanya.

So I have been on leave until today. Went to the dentist earlier to do my check-up and she said my gum suffered terrible swelling but it is normal. I just need to rinse well and survive on semisolid for now. The pain is subsiding and I am starting to look normal already haha Hoping that I will recuperate soon. So many events this weekend that I just can't miss the food galore!

lovely tiffany blue

They say, you shouldn't prolong good things, especially when it is a step closer towards building the masjid.

Another close friend of mine decided to take such heed but with such short notice (very very!) that all of us were taken aback with her getting engaged announcement. We first had to endure the shock wave when she, out of the blue, mentioned that she's getting engaged but not until it's March. Then, her whatsapp message came in a few days later which I think made all of us screamed virtually (and live) that read : It's happening next Sunday.

Like what? Haha The first thing that I blurted was "I don't even have an outfit to wear!" Only then did I congratulate her and the bridezilla mode was on for everyone.

Anyway, like most engagements, hers was simply mesmerising, beautiful and all sweet. 

She looked most beautiful that day - not just because of her being all dolled up - but it's that joy and happiness that's written all over her face that were most apparent.

I am just so happy for you, Farhana. The time has finally arrived. 

Wished everyone was there to be with you. InsyaAllah, we are all looking forward to your big day this year!

Another one officially off the market :)

letting go

I have every reason to look forward to this year; Adeena turning one, Luqman turning three, my marriage gets a year older, the prospect of investing, and this one ultimate thing which clings to me like a shadow - weaning off Luqman.

If that phrase doesn't sadden me enough, I don't know what is. 

Weaning is a long good-bye - bittersweet and freeing at the same time. I have not yet decided when to start weaning him off fully, but I know sooner or later this has to take place. I told myself that 29 months would be the maximum, but who knows the time might be prolonged if both of us want to. 

Truth be told, I am not at all ready. In other words, I don't have the heart. I know I have complained of how tiresome it can be, how I feel like I haven't been focusing on Adeena enough, or how I feel upset when I have to attend to Luqman's cries in the middle of the night when I should be directing my attention to nursing his sister instead and some other things that my husband has to listen to occasionally - the thing is this; at the end of the day, I don't mind at all having him nursed. Because I know, the times when he would just nibble and not really drinking, he is actually finding comfort in me. The intimate bond is just so warming and unexplainable that at times I am starting to think that weaning him off is not a good idea haha

But of course, on days when he is just being so testing, I just can't wait to withhold my breasts. Speaking of which, I have tried twice that the aftermath was simply a traumatic one for both of us. 

In all honesty, this is going to take some time and lots and lots of patience. Talking to friends and family members about ending this breastfeeding relationship, at times, is pretty upsetting but you gotta do what a mother's gotta do. I pray hard that when we would finally do this, we would ace it, especially bedtime feeding because this is usually the hardest.

As for now, I think the time has not yet come for me to do so. I am struggling emotionally, no doubt, and I hope that Allah SWT will guide me all the way. That I will be strong enough to face this and patient enough to be consistent in achieving my goal.

To Luqman, my baby, thank you for giving me the chance to nurse you up till today (who would have thought alhamdulillah!), of course with His love and mercy. The generous milk supply that He has given me to be able to nurse both you and your sister, for that I am forever grateful subhanallah!

Thank you for being my number one natural pumper! 

Let's hope that this amazing journey will end beautifully, insyaAllah.


The first post

The new year, so far, has been nice to me on various aspects. Still, it is very early to tell, since it is only the 11th day. However, I have a feeling it is going to be awesome, if not better. 

I have some personal resolutions that I'd rather keep them to myself and ones that I am praying really hard that, if not truly achieved, will at least be almost attained. I am more concerned with the journey towards my goal, and I suppose that is what really counts.

InsyaAllah, may everything be eased!

On another note, now that I have got myself a new desktop and a comfortable workplace set-up, I am hoping that I would be able to update more often here. Hopefully, my writing skills are not left rustic and I am not too tired to begin with.

Have a great year everyone!

The Writer

The Writer
I am a wife, a mother, and a teacher by profession. At times a pessimist and one who is easily amused. I find comfort once entering the threshold of my bedroom. I write because I want to and it makes me feel good :)