Toilet-training

Potty-training or toilet-training is a major milestone and it is a big step for both kids and parents. Alhamdulillah, our second child, Adeena, is now toilet trained and she has now ditched the diaper during the day. Such a heeeuuge success for both of us I would say. And to top it all, Allah has eased the process, in which it took us only 4-5 days of successful potty breaks with the first two days of a few 'accidents'. 

Well done, Adeena!

At 3 years and 2 months, I think Adeena surprises us all. I initially thought she wasn't ready but she actually opens up to the idea. This new transition is of course celebratory. Going through this phase the second time, I am still amazed at how good kids really are at mastering their bladder control.

Next would be to train both Luqman and Adeena the nighttime diaper-less routine which (I'm not gonna lie), is such a put off. I know I know what you're thinking. I am constantly thinking and imagining the hassle and frustration upon discovering wet beds and pants even before I start the nighttime training. Tried a few times with Luqman before and my husband and I agreed that he still wasn't ready. Saved us the exhaustion of constantly washing his pants and changing the mattress covers, too. 

I guess after a year, I think he might ready. Adeena, too. We shall see :) And once we start, let patience be our mantra to success hehe

Ramadhan Kareem

It's Ramadhan again - the glorious month. It's the time we get to perform one of the pillars of Islam; fasting. It is also called the generous month because we get many generous blessings; we pray and do charity and get rewarded abundantly insyaAllah. 

I am so grateful that I get to meet Ramadhan again, alhamdulillah. While most of us warmly welcome Ramadhan, as a parent, I quietly fret about how to handle three kids (especially it's the school holidays now) and keeping them entertained while I'm exhausted from the fasting. Balancing parenting (include breastfeeding too) and fasting is definitely challenging and I salute all stay-at-home mums out there!

My toddler kids have so much energy. I have to really keep up with them; switching from one activity to another. Thankfully Fatima is at that stage when you offer her the boobs, she'll pengsan right after and I will anticipate her next wake after 3 hours tops. In the mean time, I rush to complete any house chores or just looking after Luqman and Adeena.

Most of the times, I let them play and play and play until they get bored and I'll switch something on the TV for them to watch right after. While I can say that they certainly can manage on their own, it's the siblings' squabbles that really tick me off. It's so frustrating and exhausting having to referee the constant fighting every single day. Not to mention energy draining, too, especially when you're abstaining. 

Sometimes, I just let them embrace the boredom. But I guess they're still too young to really understand how to. Haha If they're tired from playing, they're hungry. Food has to be abundant in the house! Too bad I can't join their energy refuelling. 

I guess the highlight of the day is their afternoon nap. Oh boy, such a peaceful and serene place the house is when they are napping. I keep on telling them you kids have to sleep, it's Sunnah. Sleep sleep now! When really, all I want is also to nap haha I mean, it's a healthy habit and it's also a downtime needed for all of us to avoid getting on each others' nerves. 

Ahhh the challenges. And it continues right after they wake up, getting them to shower, feed them early dinner and then get ready for breaking fast. My day during Ramadhan usually will end  at about 10-11 at night after I have performed my prayers. Terawih is absolutely at home, no doubt. And a brand new day starts again as early as 5 am. 

You know, we mums will keep on saying this and that, complain of the fatigue and challenges. But I guess if given a choice we wouldn't want it any other way. Tiring, yes, hands down. But seeing your kids right in front of your eyes, attending to their every need no matter how exhausted; it's such a blessing. Knowing that every night when you kiss your kids good night and make them recite the prayer in chorus and they say they love you in return, gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling that wipes away all the sweat, tears and tiredness.

May the force be with us mums this Ramadhan. May we be persistent in our responsibility and ibadah. And may Allah reward us generously, insyaAllah.


Ramadhan Kareem!


Celebrating Fatima and Ashman

As with our two previous children, we also hosted the aqiqah ceremony for Fatima to celebrate her birth. It's always anticipated by us because it is also a time for family gathering and a good feast (kambing golek, you feeling me? haha)

My parents have been so generous to offer their place as the venue for Fatima's aqiqah. So, on the 21st of May (after about a month plus), the event was held together with a majlis kesyukuran and tahlil.



It was just a simple event to celebrate her birth and also Ashman, my nephew. It was also my first meeting with relatives and close friends after my confinement so I felt truly excited. 

The Harun clan

Our three little precious :)

With my in-laws 

The cousins from my husband's side

The celebrated little lady :)

Fatima was being such a gem as she wasn't cranky and she slept the entire time; even when she's being passed from one person to the other. She slept soundly in the cot so I took the opportunity to mingle and meet with the guests, many of whom I have been dying to meet. Alhamdulillah, the event was a success. Food was awesome and I personally had a wonderful time.

One for the album 

Then, 2 weeks later it was my nephew's aqiqah, held at my sister's parents-in-laws' place. Another event anticipated because, well, there's food ( kambing golek!!) and also because their family decided to do the berendoi and the shaving of the hair. 

The so-called berendoi dais


TMAZ - Tun Muhamad Ashman Zulkarnain

The new proud parents with their baby, after the head-shaving ceremony

Food was great and everything went well despite the heat. Ashman behaved, too, the entire time especially during the head-shaving ceremony by the ustaz. 

More pictures taken :






*Luqman's missing coz he was sleeping at the time this photo was taken*

And, these two little munchkins were the most tired ones haha 

Ashman and Fatima

 Having a child is a great blessing from Allah so performing aqiqah is a way of being thankful. Besides, hosting a ceremony also is another purpose to invite family and friends to the blessed occasion where food and meat are served. At the end of the day, no matter how you decide to host the event or how you want to perform your aqiqah, it always comes back to the basic; that aqiqah is sunnah and also a sadaqah.



Get well soon

It's that time again when sleep is an evaporated matter and your sick child (baby) with an elevated temperature is the real deal. I am worried sick of my Fatima because she's been suffering from a fever for three days now. 

Couldn't believe that my baby who is hardly 2 months could be infected with this viral fever. It's the worst part of parenting I must say - knowing your child is sick and you can only do as much to make him/her feel better. *sigh*

It breaks my heart to see Fatima suffering from the fever. She is still a baby! It's the last thing I want to witness because whatever pain and queasiness she is feeling, I am feeling it twice. And like all parents, I wish the pain is mine. 

I just hope and pray hard that come tomorrow she'll at least have a normal temperature and a better well-being. 

God, give me strength for the day and shine me the light for the way.

Please make du'a for my Fatima, too. 


Get well soon, baby girl.

Joyful April

It's almost the end of April but I hope it's not too late to share with you people what a joyful month it has been. 

2 memorable events took place this month - would have been three if it's not for Fatima's early debut (she decided to say hello to the world on the 31st of March, 2 days prior to her EDD).

On the 8th of April, it was Soraya Adeena's 3rd birthday. She was really looking forward to this day because she wanted a cake. Sorry little girl, no fancy schmancy cake this time around but I am sure you absolutely loved the tiny delicious Macadamia Caramel Cheese cake ayah bought you. Oh and that one sliced Chocolate Prune Cake, too! 


I obviously just started my confinement so my husband and I were thankful that my family took the effort to drop by with food and presents for the kids. Totally made their day. I, on the other hand had to salivate over those cakes and the KFC bucket that my brother bought while all of them were having a finger-licking good time.


Couldn't be more happy with their presence!


To Soraya Adeena,

No words can truly express my love for you. It's hard not to fall in love with you and be smitten by you. Three years have passed and I see my own reflection in you without having to look into the mirror. You are definitely a joy to have and be around with and you definitely leave a pride in me and your dad. May you grow up to be the best muslimah insyaAllah, one who benefits the ummah and those around you. My prayers for you will never stop. Love you so much debob!


Then, on the 21st of April 2016, the wait was finally over. My youngest sister gave birth to a healthy baby boy weighing at 3.6 kg. We were all swelled with pride and joy with this new addition to the family. My parents were the most happy, I would say. Two new grandchildren this year!


I couldn't wait to hold my first nephew so off I went to the hospital with Fatima and my parents the next day while Luqman and Adeena were in school. I was already on my 23rd day of confinement; feeling pretty ok already hehe


Tun Muhamad Ashman Zulkarnain, you are such a cutie Mak Long so geram!

The next day, Luqman and Adeena visited Mak Su and said hi to their little cousin for the first time. 

It's still surreal, really what with me having my third child and my sister had her first. We're all grown ups already! And now we're talking mummy lingo ey!

Can't wait for May coz it'll be a joyful one for me -- the end of confinement period! Weehuu!

Third time's a charm - Part 2

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It was already 7 am. And we're still pacing up and down the room. Suddenly I had this urge to pass motion. Twice. My heart raced so fast and I panicked. I told my husband and he pressed the bell. The nurse came into our room and I told her my situation. The next thing I knew, I was rushed to the labour room on a wheelchair and I could feel my face turned white. This is it! It's time! 

Everything happened so fast. I was wheeled into this bright room with two midwives readily waiting. I was slowly transferred onto the bed. A female doctor came to check and I was already 7cm dilated. All the while, the contractions changed to expulsive, pushing ones. I was grunting with each contraction. Then, my husband came and sat next to me while holding my hand. I think he's saying words of encouragement or reciting his prayer; I don't quite know as I was too distracted with the pain and the urge to push. 

After a few minutes, the midwives got me ready into a pushing position. The doctor's been telling me when and how to push and she was so good at guiding me. She taught me how to really breathe properly with every contraction and to me, that really helped in giving birth this time around. I guess it took me 4 really long push (and tears streaming down my face) until the hard work was finally over. It was 8.36 am.

The next few minutes were blurry. I was left feeling nauseous and shaky. I was panting and my throat felt dry. I heard the midwives, the doctor and my husband rejoicing once the baby was out. "Well done!" "Good job!" were all I could make of amidst the noise. My baby instantly cried her first cry and she was put on my chest after my husband was given the honour of cutting her umbilical cord. She's beautiful, mashaAllah. Tears started to form again. My husband kissed my head and squeezed my hand. I let out a huge sigh of relief. It's over. Finally. 

Except, it wasn't really over down there. The doctor was busy examining my placenta and she made sure that nothing was left behind by pressing my tummy here and there. However, I was hardly aware of all this and the stitching as I was busy focusing on my baby and offering her the breast at the same time admiring her features. 

I was exhausted -- extremely exhausted. My hands were shaky and I felt cold. I was hungry and I instantly remembered the chicken chop that I had for dinner last night before going into battle. My husband passed me the dates and I drank half of the water in the bottle. I felt rejuvenated a bit. I looked at my husband and we both smiled. 

"She looks like her abang Luqman," I said.

"Yes, she does," my husband replied.

Syukur alhamdulillah. Selamat semuanya.

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You know. I have been having all sorts of thoughts when it comes to labour and giving birth for the third time. The fear escalates because you have gone through this twice before and you know what's coming - the signs, pain, etc. But every labour is totally different and truthfully, I didn't know what to expect. However, I have promised myself that I will try to have a normal unassisted birth this time around and alhamdulillah I managed with Allah's help. I also promised myself to not give in to pain easily and try to have natural pain relief instead of taking medical ones. Alhamdulillah, as much as I want help at some point, I aced this too, this time around. He has also made it easy for me during labour despite the long hours of battling contractions. Allahuakbar!

I guess it's true what they say -- The third time's always a charm. 



Third time's a charm - Part 1

I took a peek at the clock and I noticed that the time seemed to slow to a crawl. I looked at my husband who was snoring away softly on the sofa bed, all curled up just like a baby (I let him sleep and didn't wake him up because I knew he was equally exhausted and once the baby's out, he will have to run around to settle the post-labour chores. So yeah, let him get his rest). I told myself that it's going to be a very long night. I inhaled and exhaled.

Earlier today, I was alarmed by the bloody show that appeared. As there were no contraction pains yet, I decided to wait and got my hospital bag ready in the meantime. The discharge continued to pass until late evening and by that time, I'd started to feel the contractions slowly coming in. My husband came home, fetched the kids and off we went to my parents' to drop Luqman and Adeena before making our way to the hospital. Once there, the doctor who checked told us that I was already 3cm dilated. I could go back home and come here again when it's time but with the third child anything's possible. We took the doctor's advice and decided to stay for the night. 

With one hand at my waist and the other rubbing my bulging tummy, I paced around the room despite the labour contractions that were coming in quite regularly and more intense. I tried to relax but the pain -- oh boy, the pain! 

I had been alternating between walking and resting. I had tried leaning on a pillow and also the knee-chest position every time the pain kicked in. I focused on my breathing, too. God knows how sleepy I was. At one point, I think I dozed off on the bed as I was too tired only to be awakened by the entrance of the nurse, pushing in the electronic fetal monitor machine. 

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3 hours had passed. Pain's coming in still quite regularly and the intensity was still moderate. 3 more hours and it would be Fajr. By this time, I was already feeling very anxious and emotional. I just couldn't wait for the baby to come out. I almost gave up. It felt like ages! My husband's also awake. I guess my loud breathing and my little cries and howls sort of woke him up.  Anyway, he held my hand and paced with me around the room through what seemed like an endless transition. He was quiet most of the time - partly still feeling sleepy and partly because being quiet was the best thing to do at that moment. 

Every 10 minutes I would slow down and stopped and gripped my husband's hands so tightly. I cringed, shook my head and remember saying, "Ya Allah! Sakit!" everytime the contractions came. He would rub my back, cuddle me and whispered "Hang in there. Sikit je lagi ni". I nodded and continued pacing.
Tears started to form in my eyes. I recited the zikir and constantly prayed to Allah to please make everything easy for me. Luqman and Adeena suddenly came to mind and I became more emotional. I breathed in and breathed out slowly. I could do this, I told myself. 

I poured myself a glass of water and ate the date -- it was my 5th for the night -- and continued walking.

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I slowly opened my eyes. I was on the bed. I must have dozed off again. My husband was curled on the sofa bed. There was a knock on the door and the nurse came in wheeling that machine again. I was strapped with the elastic belts on my tummy. My eyes darted to the clock and it was almost 5.30 am. I sighed. "Sakitla nurse" I told her and she smiled. "Almost there" she replied. "Do you want any painkiller or gas?" I shook my head. "Keep on moving and walking. If you rasa macam nak buang air besar after this, you cepat-cepat tekan bell ya". I nodded weakly and she went out. I pulled myself to a sitting position. The pain was now so intense I felt like screaming on the tops of my lung. This whole transitional phase was the most difficult part -- the pressure and the pain my body was enduring; where do I even begin???

Then, it was time for Fajr prayer. I could hear the Azan from a nearby mosque. I moved my husband. He couldn't believe it was already dawn (he thought time passed by so quickly) while I, on the other hand, thought it was the longest night in my entire life. Together we prayed. In my last rakaat, the pain almost knocked me down from the chair, leaving me feeling all shaky. I thought, this is it. Maybe it's time.  

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to be continued

A life's begun

After 39 weeks and 5 days of growing my baby, an overnight of battling contractions, and an hour of giving birth, our little girl was finally born. 
It's the moment that we've all been anticipating for. Despite the exhaustion and the emotional wreck I have been, I can say that both my husband and I have never felt so happy, too. 


As we held our newborn, the realisation that we are responsible for this precious new life can feel daunting. We feel like we're new parents once again. The first few days were quite overwhelming and hectic so to speak. I remember feeling a little bit weepy - a combination of raging hormones and exhaustion - and I wasn't feeling all that elated every minute of the day. Fast forward to another 2 weeks, I am spending the time of my baby's life in an exhausted but happy haze. In between feeds (lotsa of 'em! I forgot how much a newborn is attached to your boobs) nappy changes, and her around-the-clock schedule, we are indeed excited with our bundle of joy (it is still very surreal, really).

Though it's our number three, we're still grappling and at times overwhelmed by the responsibility. Alhamdulillah, we get lots of support and help from both our families. I really owe my mom and husband for helping and supporting me so that I get sufficient rest to care for the new baby. Also, seeing my husband handling the day-to-day chores and trying hard to keep the house (and all of us) together reminds me why I love him in the first place. 

I will definitely blog about my labour story. Like I have mentioned before, I didn't know what to expect this time around, and as it turned out, it was something different altogether. As they say, third time's a charm!

For now, meet our little girl, Fatima Eiliyah, named after Prophet Muhammad's (SAW) daughter. May she grow to become someone beautiful, calm and serene and loved by Allah -- as what Eiliyah is supposed to mean. Amin, insyaAllah.

Just a few minutes after she was out from the womb


Looking a lot like Abang Luqman

Luqman and Adeena meeting Fatima for the very first time :)

As for now, wish us luck! We hope to survive the bleary-eyed days and get our sleep back probably soon. NOT.

Almost there

It's hard to believe that I am already at my 39th week when it just felt like yesterday when we found out I was expecting. I'm in the homestretch! The anxiety, fear, and excitement are kinda overwhelming I would say. 

39 weeks pregnant me and my 34 weeks pregnant sister.

I am at that stage where everything is just not comfortable anymore. Sleeping at night is such a chore - tossing and turning to find the right position. I walk like a penguin at the rate of a gliding snail. Pregnancy at 39 weeks also means that I am always attuned to any signs of labor, which is quite scary. Yes, I am scared. Ohh, the contraction, the ultimate pain *shudders* 

It's the waiting game! And it's killing me. A little tiring don't you think? Since both my kids made their debut exactly at 40 weeks (Luqman on his EDD and Adeena came out a day earlier),I should expect the same with the third one, no? Hopefully. 

My kids have been asking the same question every single day on when is the baby coming out while rubbing and kissing my tummy. It's cute when Adeena tries to make conversation with her younger sibling in the tummy. 


We try to spend quality time as much as we can as a family now, knowing that after delivery, my focus will be shifted ultimately on the baby. I really hope that Luqman and Adeena will be able to understand later and not feel that detachment. 


I'm sure they'll be over the moon when the baby arrives hehe

For now, I would say preparation is almost 85% complete. However, I just can't get started on packing my hospital bag I just don't know why. Terrible I know. At this point of time, that bag should already be in the car when in reality it is still empty somewhere in my wardrobe. I hope I still have time.

Work wise, I didn't plan on taking leaves earlier and just continue to go to work until the end (just like my previous pregnancies) but on second thought (well, just two days ago actually), I decided to start resting this coming Wednesday. The doctor agrees and hopefully I'll get to relish the peaceful me-time three days prior to my due date. I already made mental plans on what I should be doing on that three days. So looking forward!

While I should be getting ready to celebrate, I actually dread the prospect of having to deliver a baby *cold sweat*. Please pray for me. Please pray that I would be calm and okay and that I will get through this delivery day fears. Who knows, the next time I post something here, my baby is already home :)

Magical love

There's just something magical about grandparents when it comes to their grandchildren. It's a bond like no other - the unconditional love. 

Whenever I see my parents with my kids, I wonder why weren't they the way they are right now when they were with us many many yeas ago? I guess it's because of their new role which doesn't put any pressure on them as parents. They can just enjoy their grandchildren for who they are.

 This laidback, joyful freedom way of handling kids, I presume, is why most grandchildren love their grandparents so much. I mean it's true right? With Atok and Nanny or Wan, it is so much fun because they seem to get away with pretty much everything; especially when it comes to food and gadgets. While I used to get all tense and uncomfortable because of this discipline-out-of-the-window thingy, I have come to learn to just let it go. After all, I don't want to be the 'party pooper', do I? Bukannya selalu. But of course, the line is drawn and some things have been made clear and we're all good.

Today, it's no surprise that grandparents' involvement in our kids' lives is even more important. It's comforting to know that there are other adults who love our children and are definitely looking out for them. In times of difficulties, my husband and I can never be more grateful that both our parents are just a call away and they can help take some of the pressure off us. 

While some might not agree with the involvement of the grandparents, I guess deep down we all do want some of it. Just not in a judgmental, meddling way but more to a loving and supportive way. 

Let's face it. Grandparents are VIPs -  at least to my kids. When they're with Atok and Nanny or Wan, we're forgotten! Haha They'll tell us how it is so much fun with their grandparents that sometimes I tend to think we're going to lose! However, upon seeing how smitten they are with their grandchildren, how they coo on very photos and the way their eyes lit when Luqman and Adeena entertain them with their antics, it gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling. 

And I smile thinking how lucky my kids are to have such loving and doting grandparents who don't need much to feel special; they already are special the moment their grandchildren were born :)


The Writer

The Writer
I am a wife, a mother, and a teacher by profession. At times a pessimist and one who is easily amused. I find comfort once entering the threshold of my bedroom. I write because I want to and it makes me feel good :)