welcoming a new day

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.
Most importantly, a new baby is like the beginning of all things, hope, a dream of possibilities.

Ummi and ayah can't wait to meet you!

the after

Dealing with grief is something that I am no expert at. But I try to be supportive and empathic to the person involved.

In this case, it's my mother-in-law.

Losing someone, especially your life partner is hard, no matter how mentally and emotionally prepared you are. I can only imagine her feelings everyday, waking up to an empty bed, no one to come home to after a day's work, and no more daily cooking because there's no one to taste them.

She is still at that stage where reminiscing is inevitable. Little little things will constantly remind her of arwah. Like the other day, I brought home McDonalds ice-cream, instantly she said, "Abah suka makan ni". And then it makes you realize that even when someone had left, there are things that will definitely remind you of him/her. Memories are very powerful.

While we used to come over for our weekly visit, now we sleep over every weekend. At least she has a reason to cook again, to feel energised with more people in the house, and for us to see that cheerful smile again. I try to keep her company by having simple chats with her, and most importantly listen to whatever she feels like saying - even if most of what she talks of is about arwah. I believe that is her way of healing - by letting it all out. That's the least that I can do. Sometimes, company is all that matters - even if we don't utter a single word. It's knowing that there are people by your side no matter what and I think that's consoling enough.

I learnt that never take your loved ones for granted. It's total cliche, but it is so true. They will be with you one day, and gone the next.

Alhamdulillah, from what I have seen and been told, my mother-in-law has been a very good wife, attending to arwah's needs all the time while he was still alive. She has been an excellent homemaker (still is) and I think there was never a time that she never puts arwah's and her sons' priorities aside. The only regret would be not being able to be by arwah's side when he left.

She is still mourning (she has to for 4 months and 10 days). I hope she will stay strong throughout although I know this is something very difficult to cope with, insyaAllah.

a year ago today

It's our 1st wedding anniversary today, alhamdulillah.

1 year of marriage filled with enduring love, passion and eternal happiness.

Our anniversary is a time to look back at the good times and a time to look ahead to live our dreams together.

We have changed over the years of knowing each other, but the sparkle in your eyes is as bright as ever and my love for you is even stronger.

I thank Allah for a lifetime companion whom I can see growing old together with, someone who makes me confortable and safe, and the one I believe will lead us to Jannah.

I can never explain the weak knees you give me whenever you walk into the room and smile :)

And thank you for loving my imperfections. Being with you makes me feel perfect all the time.

Here's to many more years of side by side :)

I love you Muhammad Rizal bin Abdul Rahim, with all my heart :)

oh crab!

After weeks of seeing it being featured on Warung Kita and Jalan-jalan Cari Makan, we finally set foot on the infamous Mee Ketam Kuala Lumpur, Section 7 Shah Alam. It was for ayah's birthday dinner yesterday, since he has been wanting to go here real bad!

As the name suggests, the menu is basically crab-based, with a few other seafood included like fish (only Ikan Bawal) and udang galah, and a few pasta menu.

My dad and I ordered their signature dish - Mee Kari Ketam.

Only RM4 - the portion is just nice and the crab is fresh and very sweet! The curry is good, but not exceptional.

My sister ordered white rice+chilli crab, my husband had white rice+crab curry and my mum settled for Crab Fried Rice (no pictures taken, though).

We also ordered the Udang Galah Masak Cili.

We had 6 of them. The dish wasn't what we expected - it was overflowing with gravy - but it tasted good (not excellent) nonetheless.

And so, the eating session began. A lot of peeling and sucking involved!

As for dessert, the Lai Chi Kang is very satisfying.

So refreshing!

My only complaint would be the stools. They're too small and unstable especially for a pregnant lady like me. My bum and back were in pain after sitting on it for too long.

Overall :

Quality - 3.5/5
Ambiance - 4/5
Cleanliness - 4/5
Worth the money - 3.5/5

The food is good but not exceptional, but I say give it a try.

daddy cool

Ayah turns 55 today. Alhamdulillah.

This day is not special only to me, but to all those people whose lives you have touched with your kindness and generosity. I feel so blessed to have you as my Dad.

Your love and humility melts my heart. What you mean to me, is something I can never express with words. I can never thank you enough for your love and care you showered on me.

You are the one who made my childhood special, and I remember every minute of it.

No matter how much time passes and how old I become, you will always be my superman!

I wish you a day, filled with love, joy, care and fun. May you always be healthy and happy.

You are the reason, I am.

Happy Birthday, Ayah. Looking forward to many birthday celebrations together!

Daddy Cool - no longer with a mullet!
Nak jadi atok kenalah potong rambut katanya :)

hitam kuning

Yesterday was a historical day for all Malaysians, no doubt. After all the commotion, Malaysia silenced Indonesia through our final penalty kick victory. It was a very intense moment indeed but alhamdulillah, luck was on our side.

A very frustrated Indonesian goalkeeper

Good job Harimau Muda!

And I guess we have one person to really thank and be proud of. If it's not for him and his outstanding performance, the Garudas could have scored more.

The best goalkeeper in SEA!
(gambar budget top model gitu!)

I am no football fan, but I am going to say this : Harimau Malaya selamanya!


Pictures taken from here

some updates

Me @33 weeks, alhamdulillah

At this stage, I have a few common minor and temporary complaints. Backache and back pain are absolutely unavoidable as it is a problem common for pregnant ladies caused by pregnancy hormones that have a relaxing effect on our joints and ligaments. Supporting the weight of our bum also means there's more strain on the back. This, goes without saying, affects my sleep badly as I now do not enjoy the luxury of a good night sleep due to the pain and my swelling belly. Even with support pillows all around me don't seem to do me justice. Sleeping with the suggested position helps a little. For now, I can only be happy sleeping on my side.

I have started to notice a week back that I always woke up with
finger pain and numbness, and also at the wrist. I can't even flex my fingers right. At first I thought I have slept on my fingers since I've been sleeping on my side, but after experiencing it everytime I wake up from sleep, I became worried. A visit to the doctor one day answered my question. This pain and numbness is caused by swelling and weight gain (I must have gained a lot!). My readings confirm that too. So, I have been watching the way I sleep and flexing my wrists and fingers regularly throughout the day. My husband will now and then massage my hands and wrists upwards. Those things help to ease the pain. Besides, I drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy to avoid excessive weight gain.

leg cramps. I experienced my first leg cramp during my 4th month. I was jolted from sleep with this muscle contraction that gave a sharp pain in my legs. It was absolutely nothing like I have ever experienced before. I was crying the whole time. Wailing, was more like it. My husband didn't know what to do so he just massaged the muscle until the cramp subsided. This cramp strikes more now. It hurts real bad that sometimes I am afraid to go to sleep. From my readings, it said that this is caused by the extra weight that I am carrying and the pressure it puts on my leg. Too little calcium and potassium in the diet can be factors too. So, I have been increasing on my milk intake and eating lots and lots of vegie and fruits. I also try to stay as active as possible by walking and I stretch my legs before I go to sleep. So far, alhamdulillah, I have been cramp-free for 3 days now since the last strike.

Swollen hands and feet (oedema) are common and they are also unavoidable. They are a result of a chain reaction in the body. During pregnancy, we acquire extra blood and the growing uterus puts pressure on our blood vessels that causes our blood to pool. The pressure from the trapped blood forces water down into the tissues of our ankle and feet which then results in the swelling. I notice my first swelling at my nose and then my feet and fingers. I have changed shoes/sandals three times due to the swelling. And I have joined my watch strap twice, I don't think I am doing it anymore. Don't even talk about fitting my rings. I'd like to think that my oedema is normal. For now, I raise my feet whenever possible as it gives me that soothing and relaxing effect. And I walk a lot, too. Plus, I drink a lot of water to avoid hydration.

Besides that,
stretch marks is inevitable. It is now noticeable especially at my thighs, stomachs and my calf. They are red spots/stretches caused by weight gain. I try to religiously apply Bio Oil at these areas (I sometimes forget due to fatigue and sleepiness). Hopefully it works. Another thing that's worrying me is the red spots that seem to appear on my skin especially at the stomach. They are not rashes and they don't always itch that bad. It is more like body acne of some kind. The doctor said that this is again due to the hormones and they will disappear gradually but I can't help but worry especially when they resurface more. I am applying the cream that the doctor prescribed and am also using the Aiken medicated talc daily. Will need to update with my O&G this coming check-up.

Despite everything, I am absolutely grateful that I get to experience all of these. To be pregnant itself is the ultimate gift from Allah SWT. This is indeed a great bounty of Allah SWT. The virtues of pregnancy make it all a worthwhile experience after all.

It is narrated from the Prophet of Islam that:

“When the woman becomes pregnant, all angels of heaven would pray for her forgiveness as well as all the creatures of the sea. For everyday Allah would write in her account the reward of one thousand good deeds and forgives one thousand misdeeds.

When the child labor commence, Allah would give her the rewards of those who struggle for the sake of Allah (jihad), the reward of the Martyrs and the pious ones. Her sins would be cleansed like a new born. In addition, Allah would give her the rewards of seventy pilgrimages.

When she nurses her child, for every drop of milk Allah would reward her one good deed and forgives one misdeed. Even the heavenly creatures of Paradise-‘hur al’ien, pray to Allah for her forgiveness"
MashaAllah, how rewarding! How loving Allah is. Let us express our endless gratitude to Him for all that He has bestowed upon us, whether we are pregnant or not.

gone but not forgotten

It has been 11 days now since my father-in-law passed away - a fact that neither of us could really grasp until this day.

His sudden departure was something that we weren't prepared for. He wasn't sick and there were no signs shown of him leaving. When we received the call after Maghrib on the 31st of October, the news was like a pang. My husband was shaking. I was trembling. It was only the day before that we talked, had late lunch together - our usual weekend routine. Who would have thought that that would be the last we saw of him.
The Almighty says, "No self knows what it will earn tomorrow and no self knows in what land it will die." (W31:33; H31:34)
I still remember him smiling, when we took our leave the day prior. A smile which touched my heart. A smile which I don't quite comprehend for it was either a sign of content or pure happiness. When I think back, the smile was like he knew he was leaving, and that he's happy that we came to visit. I know we are happy that we visited.

He was only 59. Young, yes. But again, as The Almighty says,
"When their specified time arrives, they cannot delay it for a single hour nor can they bring it forward," (16:61)
He was a pensioner so he was alone when he passed away. But knowing that he left in a good way was so relieving, alhamdulillah. My mother-in-law found him lying on the praying mat when she came back from work. He must have collapsed while praying or after - with his wudhu' on him, masyaAllah!

Everyone in my husband's family is putting up a strong front,but I know deep down they are battling the grief. One can only imagine what they are feeling, especially my mother-in-law. As a wife, I am trying my level best to keep my husband strong. I will never forget the way he cried the day we received the news. It made me cry. Now and then, it touches my heart listening to him narrating memories of the past involving my late father-in-law.

Though my time spent with him was not long, I will remember him fondly. A wise man he was, his advice and reminders will always be remembered. How I wished he could meet this baby, his second grandchild. May he be placed among the good and may his soul be blessed by Him.


The Writer

The Writer
I am a wife, a mother, and a teacher by profession. At times a pessimist and one who is easily amused. I find comfort once entering the threshold of my bedroom. I write because I want to and it makes me feel good :)