live and burn

I haven't been reading much lately--especially the newspaper. Worst, I often missed the prime time news--pretty much on a daily basis. I feel like I'm an empty vessel and the emptiness is growing on me. It's like I'm going through each day with a straight, ignorant face, not knowing what the universe has become in its on-course.

I guess I'm missing on a lot of things these days. I feel so left out. People say, live the day and don't worry about the future that much. It's so agreeable when you are saying it to others. But being one at the receiving end, it doesn't sound like a soothing advice, really. I've been going through every single day barely breathing, that I seem to forget to live the day. I come home exhausted, and the last thing I can think of is live the day when my head is one step ahead worrying about what's going to happen come tomorrow--even in my sleep.

As much as I really want to run away from it, my life is my students after all. There is never a day that I do not think of them. Rizal hardly comes to mind at times (I love you heaps, still). They come in hundreds and they took up most of the space left. I live for them. But I don't want to end up burning myself though I am already starting to feel the heat.