tough times

The past week has been really tiring, not to mention very testing on top of it all. I could have said no when they asked me but how can I possibly do that? I pitied the Panel and I know the look of dependability when I see one . The pressure is so visible that there was no need to hear it being said out loud.

So yes. I've been training the choir team for about a week now and I don't (at all) like how everything is being handled and how everything has turned out so far. It is so difficult when I myself do not have the basic knowledge of all this 'choir'-ing, and harmonizing the voices. Although I have been in one many years before, it's not something that I can proudly use as a basis for my responsibility now.

The students are (at times) extremely difficult to handle for a start. They just can't stay still, they play around, and they are not serious. Many times I visualize myself happily smacking each one of them on the head. The worst is, majority of them represented their primary schools before and they are not helping at all! Everything has to come from me. They just want to be spoon-fed.

I think I have spent more time in school for the past week (and you could imagine how the whole school has started to make me feel suffocated) and seriously, I don't mind going home very late every single day. It's just that I wish these students would at least appreciate my sacrifices -- that I stayed back and waited for them coming in lenggang-kangkong-ly (not at all punctual) when the time spent with them could have been used relaxing and finishing up my novels, that they at least could show some respect to me and not regard me as just another teacher, and for once show me that they are really up for it. At the rate of how everything is going right now, I'm not surprised if they would be boo-ed. But of course, I'm not going to let that happen now, am I?

Susah deal dengan manusia yang perangai berbagai-bagai. Habis sekolah, have to deal with another bunch of students lagi. But of course, I accepted this responsibility. I can't quit and I won't. You want choir team? I'll give more than what you asked for!