single-handed

I now have developed a profound admiration for single parents. I really really salute them because I have tasted what it's like to be one. No, not exactly that kind. It's more like handling everything single-handedly.

Husband's been down with fever again so last night he was totally knocked-off once he went to bed. So I have been on guard looking after Luqman (and him) throughout the night.

Before, it was very difficult because I wasn't confident handling Luqman alone as he was still very fragile. I was very dependent on my husband especially to put him to sleep. That time, husband was also down with flu and cough so he couldn't be near Luqman for fear of infecting him. So you could imagine all the things that I had to do alone. Don't even start on how tiring and emotional the experience was, especially when I had to wake up at every cry and no more alternate shifts with husband. Thank God I had my mum to help a bit.

Last night, I am surprised at how easy everything was to me. Luqman was cared just fine. I was awakened a few times and I attended to his needs. I can't say it wasn't exhausting (it is, really) but I guess it's true what my mum always tells me "Kalau kita ikhlas, semua benda mudah. Especially when it comes to taking care and raising a child". Not that I am not sincere before but you know, sometimes when I am just about to doze off, that's when Luqman starts to make a sound and you can't help but go "Alaaa, baru nak tidur. Haiihh". So, in the end, it isn't really ikhlas. Then, mulalah rasa semua susah serba tak kena.

What I had to go through is just for a day. I can only imagine how you single parents (ladies especially) do this every single day for years, plus other things that need to be taken care of. Memang kena betul-betul ikhlas, be strong and determined. Istiqamah is also the key.

I also salute you housewives (love you ma!). You people do everything single-handedly - what with child rearing (when husbands go to work), cooking, tidying, etc. and never complained. My mum is the perfect epitome of that. I am so proud of who I (and my siblings) have turned out to be today because of my mum who sacrificed a lot. She stopped working once I was born for the sole purpose of wanting to see me grow before her eyes. I also have many friends who are housewives graduands. They could have gone far in life but stopped working to raise their child themselves. All I can say is, may Allah bless you and may you be rewarded in return. Besar pahalanya.

Me with my housewife mama, 2012