i need to breathe

I have been anticipating for 29th of March to come because it would be the day when everything would end. It's the climax for all of the hard work and time poured, sacrifices made, and probably the 3 most hectic and emotional months of my (and other teachers') life.

Yesterday, the District Level Choral Speaking Competition and the District Level Marching Competition (GO) were held - in which both I am involved directly and which I am passionate about. I don't think I have juggled my work and duty the way I did for the past months because of this obligation and also because the competitions were held on the same day.

Unlike other schools, our school sent its choral speaking team to compete for the first time this year. I was put incharge and I took the responsibility humbly. I don't think I have been this committed. The fact that the students willingly cooperate was a definite boost and I don't really mind coming home almost 5.30pm every single schooling day, for the past 3 months. I'm telling you, it's not an easy task handling 31 students especially for something which they were not exposed to that much.

Well, we didn't win - much to my expectation. Convent secured first place, again, after so many years. But, it was such a great experience for the students as they got to see other schools performed. However, I'm really proud of them because they did really well and I'd like to think that we gave quite a competition. Definitely a school to watch out for, I promise!

On top of that, I had to also handle the marching platoons together with other teachers. Oh boy, as if it wasn't emotional and tiring enough. Our school was the host, so you could imagine the pressure.

So anyway, to cut it short, our KPA platoons both won second place - quite a comeback for the boys after not winning for 3 years in a row. I wasn't around to share the victory as I was out with the Choral Speaking team. It's relieving that all was well and I finally can take a breather.

Only that was not really the case. I received a call yesterday afternoon saying that I have to be in PPD for 5 freakin' days. Like, hello??? I just got back and I could do with a little rest and some time with my students. Going to PPD means coming home late, sedentary days facing the laptop 9-5, and a cluttered head. Dealing with exam data is not a walk in the park. It's resentful but I have no choice but to do it anyway. Yang menurut perintah kan?

Oh, I can't wait for this to end!

yesterday

I was supposed to meet up with Diyana and Ana for lunch yesterday at Mid Valley but the plan was cancelled at the 11th hour. Being the one who planned it, I was also the one who called it off.

Diyana texted me around 12pm (when we should already be meeting) that her Project Director just arrived and she can't leave until her boss leaves. And that could take hours. I, on the other hand, had to leave by 1.30pm. I texted Ana and found out she had to run some errands and estimated to arrive at our meeting place around 1-ish.

Considering how rushed everything would be, I decided that another lunch gathering would compensate this, especially when everybody would be around - even if it means having to wait for the upcoming school holidays. We could have met if I didn't have to follow such restricted timing. Sorry girls.

Since there was no more plan, I just had lunch with my mum, brother and sister who followed as they wanted to window-shop there.

On the way to The Gardens for lunch

While waiting for our Korean dishes @The Gardens' foodcourt
(pictures were Instragram-ed, an application my brother downloaded from iTunes. love how the pictures turned out to be very Polaroid-like)

And another one taken from last night's dinner,

@Nandos
(Heee, my husband is chubby kan? Everybody said so but him haha well, I think I'm gaining a few pounds too yikes!)

Happy Weekend, people!

a shot to the heart

I did my colleague a favor a few days ago by taking over her extra class. Later that evening, she texted me asking how did the class go.

Her : Tasha, how was it? Did the kids respond to you, tell me if they didn't.
Me : It went well. I did writing with them. Don't worry.
Her : Worried about you, not them.

I was honestly taken aback. Her reply was nothing I expected and it took me awhile to really understand what she really meant (in which I didn't until now). Was she concerned that I wasn't capable of handling her class, which she passed to me in the first place? If she did, I don't think she should have said something as hurtful as that, should she?

All I'm getting is just negativity out of her message. A thank you would have been nice.

only words

"I started knowing myself the day I stopped pleasing you" - Sue Sylvester from Glee

If there's one thing about Glee that I absolutely love, it's what the casts utter. I looked forward to every episode for any phrases that are worth quoting and there seem to be many. They make me laugh and cry. For the most part, I love Glee for the sarcasm it delivers. The above line was from yesterday's episode, in which I cried watching. It was simply beautiful and it touched my heart in every way. Well of course the line above was not in the beautiful part. More like in the scene where Sue was having a feud with her mother. But I like it all the same.

I was surprised I cried that bad, really. It was probably because the ending part centers on family and how beautiful and sacred weddings can be. The words, the toast proposed - they're all simple yet they get to the heart. Plus, the Bruno Mars' songs were simply a perfect coating to all of that.

Words are really beautiful if they are uttered sincerely and straight from the heart.

missed calls

Not many know that I palpitate whenever any unknown number calls in. I've experienced enough to be this traumatized, not even once having the urge to answer the call.

I don't know about you, but my phone has been receiving calls from all sorts of service cards companies of late (well, actually for the past 7 months), which after several own investigations, turned out to be under one company. Let me tell you what they did. They will call, introduce themselves and said they are just checking on your credit cards, and somehow managed to con you into paying an amount of money for a year insurance and other benefits whenever you shop and if you want to travel. It's like a discount card of some sort that enables you to get special price at selected retail outlets and complimentaries from hotels.

I have to be honest, the first time I received that call, I was talked into believing that it's beneficial. Although I had to pay, I didn't mind because the benefits got me. The second time, I failed to bail myself out from a very persistent lady which left me regretting for having to pay another amount of money. The third and next calls somehow got me too because the tactic they used of asking me to confirm my details trapped me. No matter how persistent I was on wanting to disagree and accept the cards and insurance offered, I gave in. I just don't know why. I guess I was too tired to argue and I was too angry to speak anymore further.

Then one fateful day came. I received another call from a lady 'claiming' she's from another Service Card Center. My heartbeat was towering and I was breathing so fast. My hands were shaking literally.I was cursing silently as I decided to answer that unregistered number. The moment she uttered the words "Okay, saya hanya nak confirmkan maklumat Puan ya. Boleh tak..." I cut her in quickly. I said almost sternly that I am not interested and thank you for calling. The last thing I need right now is another card which you people keep on offering. Thank you. I put down the phone before she could even responded. I was satisfied. I did the same when another similar call received. I cut him at the introduction.

It struck me as weird though that my husband has never received such calls (yet). Thinking about it makes me so angry you have no idea. Now, I still receive incoming, unfamiliar numbers. I ignored them - yes, every single one of them - unless they text me later introducing themselves. You see, sometimes I have teachers from other schools calling to ask about Headcount, my students calling to ask this and that.

And for that, I'm sorry for any unanswered calls.

Owh, and just out of curiosity, have you experienced any of this?

favourite quote from current read

"For me, it's not the least important whether something is or isn't a European product. And it's not in the least important to me either if a thing is genuine or fake. If you ask me, people's dislike of imitations has nothing to do with fake or real, but the fear that others might think they'd bought it cheap. For me, the worst thing is when people care about the brand and not the product at all. You know how there are some people who don't give importance to their own feelings, and care only what other people might say..."

Fusun, from The Museum of Innocence

favourites

Of all the wedding gifts that we received, these are our favourite :

Those two felt cushions have got to be the cutest wedding gift ever, don't you think? See how cute they are lying on our made bed?

Thank you angah (my cousin) and husband, Aizat for the unexpectedly cute gift! And Ammar too! We love them so much you have no idea! :)

And, there's another which we thought was really cute too :
However, I know what you're thinking. We're quite baffled too as they're not a pair, both are left shoes and they won't be of any use but for keepsake. Still, very cute. Thank you to whoever that gave those to us, we still don't know who :)

car story

It never really occurred to me that cars could really 'eat up' almost your entire savings for maintenance. It's only the first week of the month and I've had my car sent to the workshop twice and burnt my pocket pretty bad.

The first time it was sent to repair the damage done by yours truly, for I unknowingly hit the fire hydrant at school, which in retrospect was quite silly and embarrassing. The fire hydrant is fine, thanks for asking. Those things aside, the site of the dented door and the 'peeled' car skin was embraced with a huge sigh and a moment of silence before being alarmed by a student's scream, "Teacherrrr, pintu kereta kemek teruukkk!!!" Thus, second humiliation ensued as more students began to realise what just happened. I kept it cool, went out of the car and smiled, knowing that I'm going to burn my pocket just when I thought I could spend the recently received salary on whatever things. Anyway, the car is now as brand new, you could never have guessed that one of the doors suffered a terrible hit. As much as I'm happy and relieved, the money had to go.

The second time was just last week to fix the aircond. Unbeknown to many, my precious little car has been a sauna spot for more than 2 weeks now. I swear I've lost a few pounds on trips back and forth to school. Imagine a miserable-looking lady driving in the third lane with a sweaty face, with her palm constantly wiping the forehead. Menyedihkan, I know. Macam penat sungguh, mengalahkan orang yang membanting tulang di sawah padi. I don't know how I managed to put up with such warmth and uneasiness every single day for the past 2 weeks. Husband sent it to the workshop, the mechanic called, and delivered bad news.

"You punya cooling coil ah, sudah bocor. Mesti kasi ganti satu set"

Oh man! Knowing that the local spare parts do not cater to my kind of car, you have to take only the original one. And I know (not just any amount) money had to go. With a heavy heart and more burnt pocket, we said yes. And I am now a happy person with a fixed air-cond, you could wear a winter coat with only the lowest fan turned on!

3 months

It's been 3 months now, alhamdulillah. Wow. How time flies. Truthfully, it already felt like ages :) The inai on my fingers have long faded, when exactly 3 months ago, they were glaringly red. Looking at the above picture brings back sweet memories that's overwhelming to the whole body. Tears formed at the corner of my eyes, too.

Here's to eternal happiness and more amazing years of spending time together.

I love you. You know I do :)

get it?

Being married is a lot different in a sense that my priorities have now shifted. I embraced that very fact even before I got married. I think it doesn't get a person to be married to understand this.

So I get very upset and offended when some people (and even friends) just don't get it that my movements and time with them seem to be limited nowadays due to this very reason. As much as I'd like to meet them, have a chat over a drink, I can't do that on every single working night can I? I admit I've been keeping it very low ever since I got married and that's by choice not because my husband is a controlling freak. He has been really nice and sweet to allow me to meet my friends and sometimes go have dinner and breakfast with them at times. Even so, I feel bad for leaving him at home.

It's quite frustrating when people misinterpret my preference (or others' for that matter) for wanting to be at home with my husband as 'enslaving myself to him'. Like, hello? It's not like I never went out of the house. It's just that my social circle now is limited to my immediate family and really close friends. I never questioned your act or attitude even when you're married yourself (with a kid, may I add). You choose to go out and socialize more and I don't, so don't compare our marriages and our husbands (Okay, this is getting very personal and specific, I know haha).

So my point is, being married does change your lifestyle and your social life. Don't question it. Yes, you will still hang out and meet up with friends. While it was frequent before, now not so much. Even so, it is still your choice. Just don't drag the husbands into this and don't ever ever talk about others' marriages.

Get it?