self-control

Alhamdulillah, we are now on our 11th day of Ramadhan. We are now entering the second phase of the month which is Forgiveness. Alhamdulillah, Allah has given us the opportunity to experience our xth Ramadhan.

Talking about Ramadhan, this is my most challenging so far. I don't mean challenging in terms of abstaining myself from eating and drinking. Yes, I had my worries but as it turned out, I'm surprisingly fit to fast and I have been doing fine so far. I try not to overeat and eat healthily to compensate for the energy loss. I can feel that my body is healthier and alhamdulillah, the baby is doing just fine, too.

It's just that I can't help feeling like a slob most of the time. I don't know if it's the hormones or the weather (or the two together), moving around proves to be such an ordeal, really. Most of the days, I don't feel like doing anything at all and I have to force myself to get out of bed and make my way to school. Once in school, it's a different story altogether.

Self-control is something that I am struggling with.

You see, it is understandable that when you are fasting, you are coming from a hungry and lethargic place so definitely your emotions tend to strike much sharply. Adults, kids - we are all the same. Only we adults are expected to be better in controlling our emotions as patience is a virtue expected from every Muslim especially in this Holy Month.

I realise that I tend to get easily irritated over little things that my students do. Petty things seem to trigger my temper. If a student enters the class late, I can feel the heat rising. If they make too much noise I can sense that I am going to tick off anytime soon. Despite constantly reminding myself not to spoil my fasting by indulging in anger that contradicts the very essence of the month, I still am challenged by this test.

I make du'a everyday so that I will be given the strength to control such emotion which I know is His test. Lagipun, orang selalu pesan, banyakkan bersabar masa mengandung. Takut nanti turun dekat anak. And I have to admit the truthfulness of such reminder.

It has been narrated by Abu Huraira (May Allah be pleased with him) That Allah's Messenger Muhammad ( ) Said:

“ The strong is not the one who over comes the people by his strength”
"But the strong is the one who controls him while in anger."

May this be a reminder to myself and all of us. Strive for the best and may we be able to discipline and self-restraint ourselves to fully achieve the meaning of Ramadhan, insyaAllah!