don't know

You know, sometimes we don't know what we're capable of. In desperate circumstances, we're pushed beyond our own limits and you do things which at that point of time appeared realistic. Rational, in fact. And then when reality knocks on your door, you start to wonder "did that really happened?" Because, yes, it is extremely hard to take.

And the aftermath isn't any better. It's like you're in a daze. Your eyes don't sparkle, they look through others. Your mind wanders. And most importantly, you just don't know what to feel. You were humiliated, but you don't know where to hide yourself. You were told off right at your face, but you just kept quiet, not knowing what to say -- because you really didn't know what to say. And you were left just like that -- knowing that you might have just jeopardised your own future.

You don't know what to feel anymore. You wonder if things would be different if you had chosen the other road.

The new year is just one day away. You pray hard that it will be a great year despite everything because you are determined to make it right once and for all.