9/11

While the world will always remember the 9/11 attacks, I will forever remember this date as the day when Luqman was successfully weaned off. 

Yes, like finally.

It was emotional. The tears mostly came from me, especially after he had gone to sleep crying. It was during the silence of the night, with him curled up next to me that I realised the finality of that particular relationship of ours. 

The drama was just that night. Colgate did the trick, much to my surprise. The next day, he did ask for a feed but I told him it's going to be minty hot just like yesterday and he responded with a head shake. And the rest was history. Alhamdulillah, Allah had made it easy for both of us.

I still feel a little sad whenever I see him, especially when he's sleeping. But I have to tell you, the aftermath of weaning off your toddler is so so liberating! At the same time, you sort of witness him grow to be more independent and the big brother traits seem to shine even more. Alhamdulillah! Couldn't be more happier. 

And I can now concentrate more on Adeena. 

To Luqman, 

Thank you. And that's all I have to say :)

Ummi loves you so much.

13 months

That's how long Luqman's been fully breastfed, alhamdulillah. I never thought that we would have come that far but we did. You'd know that I had stopped pumping at the 10th month due to my pregnancy and alhamdulillah for the sufficient EBM that Luqman still got to taste Ummi's golden liquid up until he turned a year. To be able to provide him for such a period of time is more than enough and I am more than thankful for the opportunity and experience. My breastfeeding journey with Luqman is definitely challenging but it is priceless and beautifully charted nonetheless. The bond is just unexplainable and I would never trade that for anything else.

It was never easy getting over the fact that he is no more exclusively breastfed, but I believe in God's doing. 2 weeks before the last packet of EBM was consumed, I was in a state of a tangled mind. Breastfeeding mums would understand that feeling. I wanted the best for my dear son. Yes, fresh milk is now an option but I told myself, there's no harm in trying to get the best option. 

So, I decided to search for a wet nurse (ibu susuan). My husband was more than supportive while my parents weren't too keen. To cut things short, everything was eased. Allah showed me the way and he granted me one. I can never be more thankful for such rezeki. 

She is a dear friend and a sister whom I have long known and we are closely acquainted. She had just given birth at that time and I approached her. Her respond was that of a big fat yes that I was overwhelmed for a while. Alhamdulillah. My worries were immediately swept away. 

Luqman's ibu susuan - Kak Azlina and her son, Ali

However, God has better plans. After almost a month providing for Luqman, she told me that she can no longer do so. I respect her decision and her reasons and the fact that she felt sadder than I was just made me cry. Such a beautiful soul and I thanked her from the bottom of my heart for even willing to share her milk with my son.

Luqman with his little 'brother', Ali

So yes, I still breastfeed him; occasional breastfeeding, if there is such term. He now drinks fresh goat milk. Everyone knows it's the second best after mum's. Alhamdulillah, Luqman doesn't seem to reject it and so far he has developed no allergies whatsoever. And alhamdulillah, too that he doesn't show any signs of weaning. He is still attracted to Ummi's hehe

I plan to continue breastfeeding him even after I have delivered. Hopefully up until he is 2 years. I know my journey will be more challenging after this, nursing two child at once. But I am up for it. InsyaAllah everything will be eased and I pray that I will be able to provide the best to the both of them and that Allah will grant me sufficient golden liquid, amin!

To all breastfeeding mums out there, don't quit! Yes, it is never easy but do it for our babies :)