Love til Jannah

Last Saturday, I attended a so called casual talk (sembang santai) by Ustazah Isfadiah Mohd Dasuki at our surau. I find the topic so simple yet the content presented by her was so profoundly crucial. It is the most basic understanding of what it means to love that brings us to Jannah. 

Below are some of the gist I managed to jot down for our own benefits insyaAllah :

1. How do we love ourselves or how do we know we really love ourselves? It's when we hate to enter hellfire. Meaning to say, whatever actions, decisions, food we choose to eat, and clothes we wear are the reflection of how much we want to enter Jannah and how we show our love towards Allah SWT. Remember, our bodies are not even ours. Our eyes, hands, health are Allah's. She gave one simple analogy: food. Do we eat to fulfil our appetite or to fulfil our bodies' needs? Yes, we might say both but we need to draw the line between eating until we're really full or just what our body needs. It's the same thing when choosing what clothes to wear; either we want to impress our creator or others.
2. How do we know that we have the right love? Or we are actually loving the right thing? It's when that particular love we have reminds us of Allah. It's that love that brings us back to Allah SWT and our Prophet Muhammad SAW. 
3. We have choices in life and please make the right choice. Do not fall prey to our nafsu, people, or syaitan. Remember, we are slaves only to Allah SWT. When we really realise that, then we will have that love which will bring us to Jannah.
4. Our mission and purpose in life has to be clear. It's when some of us who are unclear of our purpose and the reason we're brought to this world that we have all sorts of problems (social problems, to be exact). This is because we tend to be the slaves of nafsu. Pursuing temporary worldly fun for example. Zina, maksiat, and other teens social problems are evidence that we're now facing a big challenge from the younger generation. In short, they do not love themselves. So, betulkan our niat. All the things that we have now, the people that we meet, the challenges we've been through are just tools to meet Allah SWT. To nurture our love towards Allah which eventually will bring us to Jannah.
5. She reminded us to leave things or people that do not bring us closer to Allah. This is because when we love Allah, no matter what we do, we say, we choose, in the end we will find Him at the end of the spectrum. That's because we love ourselves and most importantly we love ourselves because of Allah SWT. 
6. She stressed to love our anak-anak syurga. Our kids are our ultimate amanah. Love them. Use nice words to them. For every good deed, good display of action no matter how small pray for them. Even better, pray in front of them. Let our dua be heard. They're never too young to understand. InsyaAllah they will be the ones that will lead us to Jannah.
7. "Jagalah hak Allah nescaya Allah akan jaga hak kamu". When we pray, be conscious of our deeds (good and bad), instil the values of insaf because in reality, we owe Allah so much. We owe Allah more than we pray to him 5 times a day. Look around. Think of the nikmat that He has given us all these while.

Those above were the gist of her talk. Personally, sangat-sangat terkesan with what she said. InsyaAllah, with what I shared will be of benefits to all of us. Sometimes, we need this kind of reminder to make us be on the right track again. InsyaAllah, love til Jannah :)

By the way, I also had the chance to grab her book ; 365 Tips Didik Anak Gaya Nabi 1 Hari 1 Tip. I urge every parent to have this book because the content is so easy to read and she even provides sahih hadith which are totally relatable to parenting. It will be a good read to us all, insyaAllah.

Coming home

Finally, Allah has answered our prayers. Finally, it's time for that long awaited hijrah back home. Alhamdulillah, my brother is granted his transfer back to Klang. It was such a red letter day when the results were out. All of us were just so thankful and relieved. I remember smiling ear to ear when I read his message and letting out a huge sigh of relief. I guess it's time. The best thing comes to those who wait and patient enough, alhamdulillah. 

It wasn't easy to part, I know. 5 years settling down at a place he almost called home has 1001 memories that are priceless. His kids were the most devastated, I would say. I know how much they love him, just as much as he does the same. He is so good with them, such an awesome educator, warden, and a friend. 

But, undoubtedly, this hijrah is equally important. It is a start of a new beginning. 

It's now time to soar here in our hometown. It's time to show 'em what you got. And it's time to be the very best that you can be.

Welcome home, brother.

Our "me time"

We've heard too often about "me time". The minute you become a parent, everything changes. That quiet moment in a coffee shop, the lazy Sunday morning lie in or a cheeky last minute weekend getaway are all distant memories once your little bundle of joy arrives. That said, nothing can replace the sense of love and happiness you experience when you become a parent. All of a sudden, your world is turned upside down. It seems as if your every moment, awake or (rarely!) asleep, is shared with this new little being. "Me time" is like being craved or longed for even if it's just a moment in the shower or a 5 minutes trip to the store. At one point, it's just impossible, don't you think?

My first "me time" was when Luqman was just 3 months plus I think. I needed to get out and be alone for awhile. I seeked refuge at the nail parlour. You see, longing for that moment alone or for some peace and quiet where no-one can find you, does not make you a bad parent, you need to have some time for yourself too in order to recharge and be the best parent and partner you can be. I am sure all of us do have that parent guilt so to speak but having our "me time" is equally important.

I am lucky in the sense that I do get my "me time". You just need to be able to manage it. Sometimes, during weekends I wake up early to have my coffee fix undisturbed with a book in my hand. On a daily basis, I try to get home early from work so I could have at least an hour on my own before I fetch the kids. Besides, monthly meet-ups with my besties are scheduled for another awesome "me time". The most rewarding "me time" if you ask me would be when your husband willingly looks after the kids while you take a short nap upstairs. Nothing beats that!

Now that Luqman and Adeena are older, my husband and I tend to get our "me time" every now and then. Sometimes, I don't know whether to be really thankful or feel guilty for letting them have their weekly sleepovers at their Atok's (granddad and grandma insist!) But I can say that it is such a blessing because my husband and I can have our couple time, do whatever things we have been wanting to do but we couldn't because the kids take so much of our time and attention (ie: sleeping like a log), and just relax; have a time-off from being a parent even if it's just for a day. In short, it's like we're taking care of ourselves now. We've learned to shed off the guilt and the feeling of selfishness because I personally think that it is crucial to create a more balanced, calm and happier life.  

Being a parent often means that our own needs come last, and sometimes that means we completely kick them to the curb. Most of us have been there. But if you don't already do it, try and find guilt-free "me time". Search and crave for it. 

I quote,

  "When you treat yourself well, goodness trickles down into your relationships with your partner, your kids, your friends, and your community. It’s like a big circle of awesomeness."