Mecca in two weeks

Yesterday, my family held a kenduri tahlil and doa selamat in conjunction with my parents' departure to the Holy Land in two weeks' time. Alhamdulillah, it went well, many came and it was, at one point an emotional gathering of families, relatives and close friends. I have never seen Ayah shed so much tears yesterday.

I can never be grateful enough that their time has finally arrived to be Allah's guests, to perform this obligatory pilgrimage; one of the Pillars of Islam. Alhamdulillah! Honestly, them leaving has impacted me in so many ways I can never explain. I once read and been told, that performing the Hajj is a jihad on its own. Anything can happen there and they need all the strength to perform the best, insyaAllah.

The most common question asked when told that my parents are leaving for Mecca is "Who will take care of Luqman?"

My MIL has been so generous and kind enough to take a month's leave just to care for Luqman. Alhamdulillah! Initially, I wanted to apply for a month's leave but I believe that Allah has planned everything nicely for us. So my husband and I are hoping for the best and that Luqman will be just fine.

We have so many things to prepare and we need to manage our time as this will be the first time that we're sending Luqman off to another place. I will finally be able to feel what it's like sending off your son to a babysitter early in the morning and pick him up later in the evening, preparing his stuffs and food the day prior for the whole week, etc. Phew, seems like a lot of work! We even plan to send him off for training a week before my parents' departure just to let my MIL get a hang of his routine and for Luqman to be comfortable with her. This is also to let my mum rest.

InsyaAllah, I pray that Allah will ease everything. I pray that my parents will be able to perform their Hajj smoothly, dengan kusyuk, they have good health and utmost patience. And most importantly, that they will be granted Haji Mabrur, amin!

Semoga selamat pergi dan selamat sampai.

The eyes of a boy

Everytime I watch my son sleeping, it's either I feel like crying or it puts a smile on my face. Sometimes both. That heavy breathing knowing he is deep in his slumber and the innocence that shines from his face overwhelm me at times.

There were times when I had to slap myself to make believe that yes, that's my son I'm adoring. Our offspring. Wow. Alhamdulillah!

8 months is a period not long enough but I have learned to be the best of a mum to my son. He has taught me a lot about patience and sacrifice that they have instantly become second nature. It's not easy, but knowing that it's for his and your own good, you don't seem to care anymore.

It scares me all the time that I will not be able to give my utmost best, that I might one day fail. This is huge, raising a child that is. It's a clean sheet given to you and the next step is up to you to make it a beautiful one. And what better time to start when they are still very young. Huge responsibility, right?

Being a mom, too, has changed my perspective on a lot of things. Alhamdulillah, I am able to improve myself on a few things. Still a long way to go, but I am going to try to further improve myself in and out.

Life is never smooth sailing but having a child makes it even more worthwhile. It reminds you of the the things that you do every single day.

And it all makes it even more meaningful by just looking into the eyes of a boy :)