Gosh, its been awhile since I’ve blogged. I’ve wanted to a bunch of times. But, life. There are so many different things I could write about, but I’m going to focus on my biggest reason for NOT blogging much anymore: my beautiful babies (apart from the crazy work)
These updates aren’t just for far away family members and my friends, they’re for me too. In lieu of a physical baby book or journal, I have this. It’s helpful to remember milestones, sure. But it also causes me to actually pause and reflect on their little personalities and what I love about them (and also what drive me up the wall).
#LUQMANRAIMI
My firstborn. It's just so hard to believe that he's the same baby I pushed out from my womb 6 years ago. What's even hard to believe is that he is all grown up and acting like he doesn't need his Ummi anymore *sobs* But, he is so dependable right now that more often than not, I secretly shed a tear behind his back, seeing how much he can do. There are times when he made me lose my patience (still do) and made me one green mum, but he is always the ice that cools me down too. Oh, my little boy. It warms my heart seeing how eager you are in helping me out in the kitchen, helping me with the dishes, keeping Fatima company and making her laugh when I had to complete other chores. I could go on and on about you, dear Luqman, but I guess one thing is clear -- you bring out the best of me and your father because you're our first 'teacher' on parenting.
#SORAYAADEENA
Our secondborn. Ahh, Adeena -- the clown of the family. You have grown to become such a lovely young girl although deep down you're also quite fiery. Who would have thought you'd be such an independent little girl, one who blends very well with her surroundings and most importantly you passed your toilet training quite easily I must say! Adeena is more musically-inclined as she is more into singing, rhyming, and acting (yes, acting!). She's sweet and silly (haha) when she's not driving us up the wall. Adeena, you're such a joy to be with and I know you bring happiness to the people around you, too.
#FATIMAEILIYAH
Our youngest. 9 months have passed since she said hello to the world. Now, she is really starting to know what she wants – and she may scream in annoyance if you take it away. Yerp, that's her! She's now babbling -- which is so cute! She is also cruising, standing up and holding on to furnitures -- can't really let her off my eyes, really. Fear of her falling down. Fatima is also responding happily to gestures, especially if it is her Abang Luqman playing with her. And, she has lose so much of her baby fat once she's mobile. As for now, Fatima has started to recognize people around her and when we're at home, she'll cling to me like a koala and that's exhausted enough, if you ask!
I often look at my children and think that I’m totally undeserving. I say, Why has God given me so much? (this task is too big) and sometimes I say, Why has God given me so much? (these gifts are too beautiful.) Why has he entrusted these little souls to me? The responsibility of being their mother is bigger than any goal I could set for myself. I know I was created to be a wife and mother. Parenting pierces our hearts, but I know every time I feel like giving-up, I take a look at my babies and thank Him over and over for such priceless gifts.
My husband always remind me that these gifts are our path to heaven. No matter how struggling we are, and how much our kids make us feel like we're better off jumping down a cliff, parenthood asks for us to be selfless to lose our self-interest. Love itself is a verb -- and it is always sacrificial.
