Staying in

I love spending the weekend staying in. After a hectic 5 (sometimes 6) working days, it feels so nice to just relax in front of the telly, roll with the kids and spend time staring into each other's eyes.

Yesterday we did just that. 

The day started pretty good. Kids and dad woke up quite late than their usual rise. Had some quality me time by having a simple breakfast alone, enjoying sipping the coffee before the roti canai galore later hehe

Then cooked lunch, played with the kids some more until they all ...

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... went back to slumberland!

And that included the dad too!

 

Penat sangat la tu!

I was happy that I had another quiet me time, too. Aahh, so blissful!

Until 20 minutes later, Adeena startled me with her chuckles.

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So much for wanting to golek-golek on the bed undisturbed!

A wind of change

As I was happily chatting and laughing with my colleagues while stappling the exam papers yesterday, I realised that I really love being around them. Some  have even become like family that the thought of not seeing them for a period of time left me with a heavy heart.

 

For the most part, we all share the same sentiment and we really do help and support each other A LOT. In a workplace where the 'bosses' don't seem to care much that we are bound to catch the stress disease, friends like them do help me to stay well and grounded. Most importantly, their presence make me feel HAPPY to be at work. 

 

So yes, if my transfer application is granted, I'd feel very sad to leave them behind. Why apply if I love being surrounded with so much love and warmth, you might ask? After all, I seem to do fine (in fact very well) at my current workplace.

 

Here's why.

 

1. I remember when I first started service I told myself not to be at a place for too long a time and 5 years is minimum to start moving to a new one. Complacency is something that I fear that might harm me and the way I perform. This year is my 5th year of teaching and honestly I can already feel myself at that level which really bugs me. I itch for something new, something more challenging and a new environment might offer me that.

 

2. Ever since I moved house, the journey to school has become somewhat further. I have to admit I don't really look forward to it as I have to endure the jam if I leave the house a few minutes later than I am supposed to. Plus, the toll fees that burn my pocket every single month! With the rise of the petrol price, a workplace nearby would save me a lot of cost. Like REALLY a lot.  

3. Let's face it. As a mother, I'd love to be near to my kids. If anything happens or in any case of emergency (God forbids), the house is just a few minutes away. No traffic jam, no toll fees. Journey to and back would be a breeze. I don't have to rush every morning and still be at school on time.

So yeah, those are my main reasons. Sounds cliche? They might as well be. However, as I sat down and reflected on my application transfer the other day, I realised that what I really wanted was a breeze of fresh air. I wanted to work in a new environment where administration is concerned. I have had my share working under a stressful one and I am not saying the one at the new place is not. It is just that a change would do me good, really. I want to experience new things and surroundings, meet new people and have new sets of students added to my teaching album. 

If ever I get my transfer, I am sure that Allah wants me to be there and it is the best decision. But if not, I believe that He is the best planner and He has better things coming my way insyaAllah! 

I remember a colleague's words : Kalau tak dapat pindah maknanya sekolah ni dan pelajar-pelajar ni masih perlukan awak. Think positive ok. You still have something to offer here.

 

True that. As for now, I am keeping my fingers crossed.

It's Papular

Finally, after almost 2 years, we can safely say that yes, Luqman is eczematic. He has what is called Papular Eczema. A visit to the skin specialist a few weeks back for a second opinion was somewhat a closure to what we have been dealing with. Quite relieving in the sense that now we don't have to make enemies with the mosquitoes anymore. All these while we thought he was bitten by mosquitoes or insects.

I am sure most parents would know that eczema is a skin condition triggered by a combination of dry and irritated skin, be it hereditary or not. Skin might get inflamed or irritated due to the weather, food, bites and what not. 

Now, what Luqman is suffering (well, this is too strong a word) or shall I say experiencing, is some kind of a scattering of tiny pinhead sized bumps or papules on the skin. Imagine mosquito bites. Something like that, only the papules will soon (most of the times) filled with fluid. I assume the papules are itchy because Luqman repeatedly scratch them sometimes that they broke. And that is just so heartbreaking because the broken papules leave brownish scars on his sensitive skin making it not scar-free :(

I, for the most part have been traumatized whenever any red bumps or 'bites' appear on Luqman's skin. Thinking that it was the mosquito, we did everything we could to keep the bloodsucker away from him but to no avail. The fact that he is the only one who gets 'bitten' baffles us all the time. 

As it turned out, papular eczema is what he has. I am very sure it is not because of the food I eat or he eats because he passed his food testing as early as 6months successfully. I think it is his surroundings; weather, dust mites.

And he might have Papular Urticaria too -  a rash or skin condition caused by sensitivity to insect bites. Because he has sensitive skin, the bites might have caused the flaming red spots/bumps that are just an eyesore. We were told that this will stay with him as he grows and it might disappear gradually. Or not. For now, we are just hoping for a better skin condition.

So yes, it is not easy to swallow especially when others think that eczema is a spreading disease. Parents, please educate yourself on this and please be empathetic enough so as not to hurt the feelings of parents with eczematic children. It definitely hurt when a stranger throws a look of disgust upon seeing your child's skin condition :(

For now, we are monitoring Adeena's skin condition. So far she's clear but you'll never know. A tiny red bump appeared on her skin for the first time when she was about 3 months old and you can imagine how all over the place I felt. 

Thank God it was really the mosquito and it left no scar! Pheww!

Parting sorrow

In approximately one week or so, I will be away from my kids and husband for a 5 days 4 nights CPD Course at Port Dickson. 

It took me awhile to digest everything, got my heart consoled everytime I almost cry a bucket thinking of how my babies would be without my presence. To tell you the truth, I was more concerned of how my nights would be without them around me, waking me up every 2 hours for their feeding or just to play with me on the bed, eyes half-closed. 

I meant no offence especially to those mums out there who are away from their babies and only get to meet their kid(s) during weekends. And I don't mean to act all dramatic (5 days je kot?) but as a breastfeeding mum, I guess the separation anxiety is just overwhelming. Too overwhelming, if I may add. This would be my first time parting from them ever since they were born. 

*eyes gone watery, throat choked*

Anyway, my husband decided that the kids will stay and Ummi goes. Kalau Ikut Ummi semua nak hangkut! But yeah, that seems the best solution. Luqman and Adeena will be taken care in the good hands of my mum, husband and bibik. All their stuffs are ever ready and available and I don't have to hassle myself with all the tedious chore of packing. Plus, I can concentrate with my course and well, look forward to the uninterrupted good night sleep for 4 days *winks* Let's hope so. 

*Breathe in*

InsyaAllah, everything will be fine. 

I should be looking forward to this mini 'vacation' shouldn't I?

Ah, such parting sorrow!