Staying in

I love spending the weekend staying in. After a hectic 5 (sometimes 6) working days, it feels so nice to just relax in front of the telly, roll with the kids and spend time staring into each other's eyes.

Yesterday we did just that. 

The day started pretty good. Kids and dad woke up quite late than their usual rise. Had some quality me time by having a simple breakfast alone, enjoying sipping the coffee before the roti canai galore later hehe

Then cooked lunch, played with the kids some more until they all ...

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... went back to slumberland!

And that included the dad too!

 

Penat sangat la tu!

I was happy that I had another quiet me time, too. Aahh, so blissful!

Until 20 minutes later, Adeena startled me with her chuckles.

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So much for wanting to golek-golek on the bed undisturbed!

A wind of change

As I was happily chatting and laughing with my colleagues while stappling the exam papers yesterday, I realised that I really love being around them. Some  have even become like family that the thought of not seeing them for a period of time left me with a heavy heart.

 

For the most part, we all share the same sentiment and we really do help and support each other A LOT. In a workplace where the 'bosses' don't seem to care much that we are bound to catch the stress disease, friends like them do help me to stay well and grounded. Most importantly, their presence make me feel HAPPY to be at work. 

 

So yes, if my transfer application is granted, I'd feel very sad to leave them behind. Why apply if I love being surrounded with so much love and warmth, you might ask? After all, I seem to do fine (in fact very well) at my current workplace.

 

Here's why.

 

1. I remember when I first started service I told myself not to be at a place for too long a time and 5 years is minimum to start moving to a new one. Complacency is something that I fear that might harm me and the way I perform. This year is my 5th year of teaching and honestly I can already feel myself at that level which really bugs me. I itch for something new, something more challenging and a new environment might offer me that.

 

2. Ever since I moved house, the journey to school has become somewhat further. I have to admit I don't really look forward to it as I have to endure the jam if I leave the house a few minutes later than I am supposed to. Plus, the toll fees that burn my pocket every single month! With the rise of the petrol price, a workplace nearby would save me a lot of cost. Like REALLY a lot.  

3. Let's face it. As a mother, I'd love to be near to my kids. If anything happens or in any case of emergency (God forbids), the house is just a few minutes away. No traffic jam, no toll fees. Journey to and back would be a breeze. I don't have to rush every morning and still be at school on time.

So yeah, those are my main reasons. Sounds cliche? They might as well be. However, as I sat down and reflected on my application transfer the other day, I realised that what I really wanted was a breeze of fresh air. I wanted to work in a new environment where administration is concerned. I have had my share working under a stressful one and I am not saying the one at the new place is not. It is just that a change would do me good, really. I want to experience new things and surroundings, meet new people and have new sets of students added to my teaching album. 

If ever I get my transfer, I am sure that Allah wants me to be there and it is the best decision. But if not, I believe that He is the best planner and He has better things coming my way insyaAllah! 

I remember a colleague's words : Kalau tak dapat pindah maknanya sekolah ni dan pelajar-pelajar ni masih perlukan awak. Think positive ok. You still have something to offer here.

 

True that. As for now, I am keeping my fingers crossed.

It's Papular

Finally, after almost 2 years, we can safely say that yes, Luqman is eczematic. He has what is called Papular Eczema. A visit to the skin specialist a few weeks back for a second opinion was somewhat a closure to what we have been dealing with. Quite relieving in the sense that now we don't have to make enemies with the mosquitoes anymore. All these while we thought he was bitten by mosquitoes or insects.

I am sure most parents would know that eczema is a skin condition triggered by a combination of dry and irritated skin, be it hereditary or not. Skin might get inflamed or irritated due to the weather, food, bites and what not. 

Now, what Luqman is suffering (well, this is too strong a word) or shall I say experiencing, is some kind of a scattering of tiny pinhead sized bumps or papules on the skin. Imagine mosquito bites. Something like that, only the papules will soon (most of the times) filled with fluid. I assume the papules are itchy because Luqman repeatedly scratch them sometimes that they broke. And that is just so heartbreaking because the broken papules leave brownish scars on his sensitive skin making it not scar-free :(

I, for the most part have been traumatized whenever any red bumps or 'bites' appear on Luqman's skin. Thinking that it was the mosquito, we did everything we could to keep the bloodsucker away from him but to no avail. The fact that he is the only one who gets 'bitten' baffles us all the time. 

As it turned out, papular eczema is what he has. I am very sure it is not because of the food I eat or he eats because he passed his food testing as early as 6months successfully. I think it is his surroundings; weather, dust mites.

And he might have Papular Urticaria too -  a rash or skin condition caused by sensitivity to insect bites. Because he has sensitive skin, the bites might have caused the flaming red spots/bumps that are just an eyesore. We were told that this will stay with him as he grows and it might disappear gradually. Or not. For now, we are just hoping for a better skin condition.

So yes, it is not easy to swallow especially when others think that eczema is a spreading disease. Parents, please educate yourself on this and please be empathetic enough so as not to hurt the feelings of parents with eczematic children. It definitely hurt when a stranger throws a look of disgust upon seeing your child's skin condition :(

For now, we are monitoring Adeena's skin condition. So far she's clear but you'll never know. A tiny red bump appeared on her skin for the first time when she was about 3 months old and you can imagine how all over the place I felt. 

Thank God it was really the mosquito and it left no scar! Pheww!

Parting sorrow

In approximately one week or so, I will be away from my kids and husband for a 5 days 4 nights CPD Course at Port Dickson. 

It took me awhile to digest everything, got my heart consoled everytime I almost cry a bucket thinking of how my babies would be without my presence. To tell you the truth, I was more concerned of how my nights would be without them around me, waking me up every 2 hours for their feeding or just to play with me on the bed, eyes half-closed. 

I meant no offence especially to those mums out there who are away from their babies and only get to meet their kid(s) during weekends. And I don't mean to act all dramatic (5 days je kot?) but as a breastfeeding mum, I guess the separation anxiety is just overwhelming. Too overwhelming, if I may add. This would be my first time parting from them ever since they were born. 

*eyes gone watery, throat choked*

Anyway, my husband decided that the kids will stay and Ummi goes. Kalau Ikut Ummi semua nak hangkut! But yeah, that seems the best solution. Luqman and Adeena will be taken care in the good hands of my mum, husband and bibik. All their stuffs are ever ready and available and I don't have to hassle myself with all the tedious chore of packing. Plus, I can concentrate with my course and well, look forward to the uninterrupted good night sleep for 4 days *winks* Let's hope so. 

*Breathe in*

InsyaAllah, everything will be fine. 

I should be looking forward to this mini 'vacation' shouldn't I?

Ah, such parting sorrow!

A message

I guess it's true when they say the test of good manners is through patience. 

I, of all people, know that I am the least patient person alive. I have my temper, if I may add and it is a blessing that I married my husband who is cooler than I am. 

Anyway, yesterday turned out to be a very testing day. After what had happened, I am starting to think that maybe, just maybe God doesn't want me to have so much fun on my own. I believe it held its own blessings (yesterday's happenings).

I was totally on cloud nine when I finally managed to steal some time to go for a mini vacation to the pedicure after what seemed like eons I have been there. My husband was sporting enough to look after the kids. I was like a happy kid slurping on ice cream.

Only, what should be a one hour trip lasted up to a good 3 hours. *sigh*

I ended up stressed despite being totally peace and calm. How ironic.

First, I had to endure an excruciating long payment at the express counter just because one irresponsible lady decided to queue at the express counter with her whole load of shopping trolley. Very Malaysian? You bet. Didn't want to budge after being told. Stubborn? Maybe. But her daughter should have taken a more responsible action by moving to the said lane. Pissed me off big time. 

When finally finished with my quick payment, dashed out to the autopay machine only to discover that I didn't have the bloody ticket with me. Checked my handbag so many times I think people might have noticed how depressed  I looked. It struck me as weird coz it was there in that compartment when I was at the nail salon. And it was gone when I needed it. 

Hurried to the nail salon again, only to be greeted with sad news. It wasn't there. I didn't drop it. Well, of course. Then where had it gone? My heart just sank and all I could think about was why? I was totally exasperated you have no idea. 

Anyway to cut things short, my husband came to the rescue yadayadayada... and I was sooooo happy to zoom back to my MIL's place to greet my kids only to be trapped in a traffic jam because a bus decided to break down there and then. 

My breasts were starting to engorge, I was getting restless and it took me one more happening to see me burst. I was in a terrible state yesterday. I went out hoping to enjoy myself but in the end I wished I didn't. 

*SIGH*

Vented out to my friends and one of the responses caught my attention. It was of course easier said than done and one would probably say it is easy for her to say coz it didn't happen to her . But, it holds so much truth.

"You can choose what your reaction to be. And of course, you can choose not to be affected by what happened.  There is indeed some blessings in disguise".

Spot on. In the end, I recited the zikr and calm myself down. 

The blessings? Well, yeah I got to be on my own for a good three hours away from the kids. Wasn't that what I wanted? 

And of course, God is sending me a message only I know what it is.

A short note

Salaam and hello earthlings,

I have been away for too long, I know. It wasn't intentional to leave this site dusty, let alone abandoning it absolutely. 

I have been ... busy? Yes, I was and still am. Busy living my life, not virtually.

Family is my priority. My dear kids are always hanging onto me, leaving me with no time to blog entirely.

As for my job, well, what can I say? So far, it's been okay. I am trying hard to keep my head above water, on top of everything else.

Our new abode is another story. Been living on our own for almost 6 months now. Tough, hands down. But you learn independence all the same. Tiring, yes. Exhausted more like it. Burnt out at times. And we've lost a few kilos, if I may add.

I have a lot - like, really a lot to tell. Until we have secured ourselves a decent internet plan, my presence here might be minimal. I just don't fancy updating from my mobile. Satisfaction not guaranteed.

As for now, it feels so good to be typing away (courtesy of my parent's wifi) and this short update will suffice for now. In case you're wondering, we are doing more than fine alhamdulillah.

"I am too blessed to be stressed"

Absolutely.

Till we meet again,

 Us, recently

Touched

Ever since we moved into our new place, everyday is an adventure. I, for the most part looked forward to a new day eagerly at the same time dreading it. With my current status as a stay-at-home mum, one can only imagine the things I go through every single day with my kids. While I am grateful that I get to be with them 24/7, there are times when I feel like hiding in my room and be oblivious to any crying. Still, I am truly grateful and blessed to be in their presence whenever I am needed. Definitely helps me forget about work, which if you ask me, a subject better not discussed. SAHM seems more appealing in every aspect.

Of course, my husband's return from work is always eagerly anticipated too. After a long, sweaty and tiring day with the kids clinging onto me, his presence gives me a breather. Bibik helps a lot too, I may add, but nothing beats having your spouse with you helping out with the kids. It warms the heart.

Staying on our own also means we have to manage our finance wisely. As we stayed with my parents before, we saved quite a lot in terms of our household expenditures which in turn helped us in our savings. But trust me, moving houses requires a lot and it (quite)burnt a hole in our pockets *tsk!* (so being a SAHM remains a wishful thinking).

These 2 months I could say that we spent quite a lot which got me into a worrying state. Payday is 3 weeks away and obviously to me it is such a long time to wait. Honestly, I am trying to stay away from any mall visits (hehe) because I can't just stroll happily without at least spending a bit (even if it's just a regular cup of Chatime). Yes, I am saving myself up to that extent which my husband thought a little bit extreme on my part. Sad, but true. Money flows like water, I tell you!

Then one night, seeing the worried look on my face (even when I don't say it aloud) he said,

"Don't you worry. Leave everything to me. I will take care of it. You just concentrate on the kids and breastfeeding Adeena ok?"

Huaaaaaa. Suddenly my eyes went watery I couldn't speak.

Touched. So very touched.

The big and the small

Moving out

After 3 years, we are finally moving out from my parents' house tomorrow to our own place. As for me, it will be me fending on my own after 28 years of living under the same roof as my parents. Emotional much? You bet!

For years I am so used to having my mum save the day if anything goes wrong (even after having 2 kids) because she is always around. I am so used to having my siblings around for immediate help. And I am so used to seeing my dad goes to work and always home to greet him back. 

Mostly, they won't be able to see the two little munchkins on a daily basis now. It is something that needs a little getting used to. Likewise, I need to get used to not having my family around like always *sobs*

I guess it's about time (orang lain dah lama dah duduk sendiri hehe). 

But for me, us moving out, is something big. It marks a whole new life waiting and a journey of raising our family ourselves. In our home.

Tomorrow, may everything be eased.

 Our place, alhamdulillah :)

Click click!

Nowadays, I am pretty sure that everyone is on Instagram. One by one is slowly joining the bandwagon of 'instagramming' their lives which I don't have problems with. I find it quite fun looking at people's lives through moments captured. Like they say, a picture is worth a thousand words, which Instagram successfully serves its purpose - snap a picture and post! Fast and fun.

I don't have an account and I don't think I would create one anytime soon. On the other hand, I might. You know, just for fun. 

But for now, I think I'll just stick to Facebook and Blogger for fun, beautiful moment sharing :)