Sweet Abode of Nothingness

5 things

2012-02-01T11:31:00.004+08:00

Hazrat Umar (RA) :

"I looked at all friends, and did not find a better friend than safeguarding the tongue. I thought about all dresses, but did not find a better dress than piety. I thought about all types of wealth, but did not find a better wealth than contentment in little. I thought of all types of good deeds, but did not find a better deed than offering good advice. I looked at all types of sustenance, but did not find a better sustenance than patience."

a new everything

2012-01-31T15:22:00.003+08:00

It's the last day of January. Already??

In a blink of an eye, Luqman turned 1 month a few days ago. Yeay, alhamdulillah!

Time does fly, huh? The last time I remember I was battling labor pain and Luqman popped out. Wait, that was last year? How I lost track of time.

I am just so thankful that I am given the chance to live life as it is today, fit and healthy alhamdulillah.

2011 was a whole lot of things - my pregnancy being the ultimate agenda.

I foresee 2012 a more challenging year with more responsibilities. Parenthood has its own ride and insyaAllah together hand in hand my husband and I will brave it.

As for work, I hope I will be able to deliver the best and try something new for a change once I start. I hope to speak up more and not to be too oblivious of what's around me.

Most importantly, I will try not to sweat the small stuffs. And of course to just have fun and enjoy life in between.

Alhamdulillah, the new year kickstarts pretty much on the right track. I can't wait to see what else 2012 has in store for me and my little family. Let's hope for a good one all year round.

p/s I am just a few days away to achieving my other ultimate new year resolution - few more pounds to shed : )

Sweet Sunday

2012-01-29T14:24:00.003+08:00

Woke up today at 10 am - later than I normally would - because we slept at 4 am. It has been 2 days now that Luqman decides not to sleep at night right after his feeding and made both his ummi and ayah zombies.

Anyway, when I was about to wake Luqman for his bath, I heard this distant machine-like sound. Knowing that it came from somewhere in the kitchen, I made my way there to find both my brother and sister, seated on the floor at the dry kitchen segment with a mixer and other related baking utensils.

That machine-like sound was the mixer, btw.

They were making red velvet cupcakes!

I didn't bother asking the ingredients and let them carry on. I was only interested with the red batter.

Then came the best part, filling in the cups with the red velvet batter!

It didn't take that long to bake them. The next thing I know they were all ready.

The cupcakes were a little bit deflated. However, they tasted out of this world! Especially with the cheese frosting.

The end product :

Hoomaaaiiggaawwwddd!!!

Thank You Farouk and Farah!

Lepas tu lupa nak kejut Luqman!

If only you sleep like an angel at night, too *sigh*

my confinement

2012-01-27T11:45:00.005+08:00

I get asked a lot about my confinement period, especially after I posted something related to that as my FB status. Well, let me tell you : my confinement isn't really a confinement per se.

Why? I have the coolest and most flexible mum in the world to begin with so I am not 'confined' to all those tedious ritual (if you could call it that) that our elders would insist on. I'm following what people would call the basics, nothing too complicated. Since I delivered normally I too, don't need the extra care like other caesarean mothers do.

Food-wise, I don't have problems with the clean-looking, soupy menu everyday though it gets me at times. Mum had tried cooking chicken based dishes and so far I don't develop any itchiness so yes, I have been having chicken some of the days. I snack in between, too, because God knows how hungry you can get after each breatfeeding session - chocolates, oat biscuits, doughnuts (hee, yes I eat them all, just to fill me up). Ada jugak sekali sekala teringin, mum let me have a bit of her Chicken McDeluxe, my MIL's curry mee (makan tauhu je pun), my brother's mee mamak and tosai - all in small amount. Alhamdulillah, no effects whatsoever.

And I drink lots and lots of water, contrary to the elders' belief "Jangan minum banyak air". My bidan said that to me, I angguk je. I mean, logically how can you not drink lots of water? You don't want to feel dehydrated and plus, you're breastfeeding - you need water! But I know where the rational comes from. If you drink too much water, it affects the number of times you'd visit the toilet. Hence, your wound will take a longer time to heal considering the times you wet the area. But, no. You need to drink. Drink some hot drinks too like Milo or Horlicks.

As for my confinement apparel, well, the typical Tshirt, kain batik and a pair of socks ensemble. A cardigan if I am feeling slightly chilly. My hair is tightly tied high in a bun. To complete the look, a thin layer of 'pilis' is applied on my forehead. I don't apply 'param' all over my body just because I don't want to. And mum's fine with it. Besides, I used to wear the traditional bengkung or corset the first week (I had a hard time tying and zig zagging it to make it tight since I still had a tiny bulge). Now, everyday is a breeze with the PB corset which is so easy to wear and it flattens your tummy almost immediately! I also wear the girdle which comes with the corset (a tight pants) to shape your hips and buttocks. Most importantly it helps to reduce stretch marks - and yes, it works!

I think what makes my confinement period (or others') difficult is having to deal with the wound's pain and how slow things can be for you. I remember spending forever in the toilet, having my bath (I bathe myself with air serai wangi, which is said to help reduce the smell of darah nifas - others sometimes bathe in air bunga), cleaning myself with such great care that I can't help but feel slightly handicapped and helpless. Everything is done is such a slow manner that it does take a toll on your emotion. You are already so very tired and sleepy, having to deal with other petty stuffs just makes you become so weepy and emotional that you can cry for no obvious reasons. I remember tearing up when I saw that my husband did not hang his praying mat properly. I cried again when the electricity suddenly went off one day. And I cried (again) on some random stuffs I can't even remember. On top of that, having to learn the art of breastfeeding (which is not even that easy, I assure you!), can be really stressful and emotional too.

So, I am now at my 30th day. I still have 14 days to go. I can't believe I have gone through a month of confinement. If you ask me, of course I am bored! The wonders of technology do wear off so I can't wait to step into the outside world! Konon lah kan, sebenarnya dah keluar pun! :)

Well, like I said mine isn't really a true confinement. I did go out a couple of times - once I tagged along with mum in the car together with Luqman and went for a rounding. And just a few days ago we went to Plaza Shah Alam to settle some things regarding Luqman's Aqiqah ceremony soon. So, yes, I took that chance as an excuse to leave the house and mum was okay with it too! Everything was okay despite having to move slowly and the time when Luqman started crying to be fed! So, we all chilled at Krispy Kreme (since it has a secluded corner where I could use to breastfeed) and yes, my first time breastfeeding Luqman in public was priceless (and quite troublesome since I didn't have the nursing cover with me yet). A short outing with a newborn proved to be tiring and definitely needs a lot of preparation.

So there, my confinement story. Nothing too out of the ordinary, though. To all moms-to-be, be prepared. Yes, your confinement can be a difficult phase, so toughen up and just remember we (women) are made fit to endure all of these. Yes, we can!

bersih

2012-01-25T10:04:00.004+08:00

Have you ever heard of the saying "If you want to know how tidy or clean a person is, go have a look at his toilet"?

Well, I can't remember who told me this exactly but it has been stuck in my head ever since. It has made me become so conscious and aware of how I manage my toilet because I have this thought that everybody knows the saying back then. And I definitely have a face to safe.

Has it never occurred to you why everytime someone visits your house the first place they pay a visit is your toilet? Because your toilet can tell so many about you as an individual. I get so nervous everytime we have guests coming - especially the elders (nak nak lagi yang macam kepoh2 kan) - and then asking to go to the toilet because I know they don't just answer the call of nature.

Call me paranoid but come on, we all have our own reservations everytime we enter someone's toilet, right?

So what are you waiting for? Go clean yours!

saturday gift

2012-01-21T17:45:00.006+08:00

Remember in my previous entry I wrote on my maternity shoot?

Well, the end product has finally arrived today!

I didn't expect Fikri to pos laju it since I thought he would pass it to my brother. And thanks for the card too!

A sneak peek of what's in the album :

Absolutely love everything! I'm one satisfied customer and a happy mummy :)

Will definitely hire him again for future events - Luqman's aqiqah is much looked forward to!

Check him out.

keeping myself occupied

2012-01-19T16:08:00.004+08:00

I think I could get used to this.

Waking up everyday to my baby boy, feed him (after mum bathes him), watch his eyes fail him, shake legs, go online, get ready for his next feed, shake legs some more, sleep, watch tv if I want to, change his nappies and well ..., shake legs some more.

I have never felt so relaxed (now that I have found my footing in e-verything and stabilised my maternal instinct). Even if I have to work from home. Yes, I do! Been getting calls but I don't mind. We've worked things out, alhamdulillah. Anyway, I am not going to talk about work (sheesshh!)

What's been keeping me occupied so far? (besides being a mother, of course)

Guess what? I've fallen trap into online shopping. Yes, you heard me! Surprise surprise. My husband has been turning a deaf ear (or he pretends to be) when told of my purchases or to-be-purchases :) It's difficult when everything is just a click away, is it? How ironic! Itchy hands!

Besides, I also indulge in more leisure reading. Since now I am a mother, I read a lot on parenting and just about everything I need to know on handling a newborn. Can't say that I don't end up with a headache everytime. There's just so much to know and to do! Well, baby steps people, baby steps. One step at a time and insyaAllah we can do it!

And last but not least, 3 months of maternity leave is the time to realise my main goal - going way back when I was first confirmed pregnant. This has also become my ultimate new year resolution - lose the fat and get back in shape! :)

I still have another 10kgs to shed (tsk!) but I am happy with my current weight loss too, considering how much I gained last time.

Wish me luck!

rockabye baby

2012-01-16T16:40:00.006+08:00

I can never begin to express how much I love my little boy. I can spend the whole day just gazing at him, playing with his little fingers while he is asleep and just kiss him endlessly and suck in his sweet newborn smell.

This is such a love at first sight (despite the scare you give ummi and ayah when you scream your lungs out!).

And I swear I would give what those tiny little ants deserve for causing you the 4 red swells on your precious little face.

Well, if only I knew which ants.

a new life

2012-01-14T14:04:00.007+08:00

After 40 weeks of carrying and 7 hours of labour, our baby boy was safely delivered on the 28th of December 2011 at 4.05 pm. Alhamdulillah!

Allahuakbar! God's precious gift - fresh from the oven

I remember being very exhausted right after the birth but I've also never felt so happy. We have never felt so happy and relieved. The fact that I was recovering from a huge physical upheaval didn't stop me from being exhilarated. The pain (oh my, the pain!!!) was shortlift once Luqman was brought out into the world. Until this very moment, I still can't believe I had endured what is said to be the 2nd most painful ordeal - birth - and it will always remain a unique and special experience for both my husband and I.

That is why syurga itu di bawah tapak kaki ibu. Masha Allah!

Our little boy, Luqman Raimi

It still feels strange holding our newborn. Wow. I am now a mother. Ummi to Luqman. The realisation that we are now responsible for this precious new life is daunting but every mum and dad in the world was a new parent once. So welcome to the confusing but wonderful world of parenthood to us!

I am not going to lie that I was slightly terrified (still am) of looking and handling a baby although newborns don't need much. I have discovered that all he needs are regular feed, cuddles and nappy changes. Well, even that proves to be a lot of work for newbies like us. Plus I am still weak physically, so I was weepy for the first week - a combination of exhaustion and raging hormones. Difficulty in breastfeeding didn't help either (I'll write about that later) but alhamdulillah, the support from my husband and family (my mother especially) really help. Not to mention close friends who keep on checking on me and has helped me cope with motherhood.

Today, Luqman is 17 days old. He is growing healthily. I am recovering physically and I am stronger emotionally, too. I am going to say it again, parenthood is tough. Everyday is spent in an exhausted but happy haze with a newborn in the house. With him in the house, he gives the new meaning to the word 'disarray' and my husband and I are both all over the place! We are now dividing those tedious-but-necessary tasks between us (while mom helps in the sideline a lot!). Though challenging, it is the most rewarding thing.

As for us, now is the time to reach deep into our reserves of patience and understanding because it really is a testing phase. Husbands - you have to tolerate with your wives. And as for wives, be considerate - do not chunk everything to your other half. Above all, keep communicating and make du'a constantly for He is the one who help you go through everything :)

Believe it or not, a new life's begun :)

The show

2011-12-28T02:07:00.002+08:00

I am now lying wide awake on my bed typing away as my husband is already drifting miles somewhere in his dreams. I couldn't get back to sleep as I am constantly awakened by what I believe is the start of my labor contraction. I am now timing each contraction between intervals at the same time I am typing. My heart is beating fast too!

Earlier yesterday evening at about 7.30pm, I was shocked when I discovered the show (blood stain) appeared on my panties. I shrieked because one, I was panicked and two, I was somewhat relieved. Relieved that the time has finally arrived.

You see, I have been anticipating the obvious signs but there seemed to be none eventhough my EDD is nearing (it's today!). My water does not break yet, no painful contraction whatsoever, and no show. So you could imagine my feelings when the show finally appeared, an indication of labor is nearing.

However, I still did not experience any pain which was why I was somewhat unsure whether or not we should dash to the hospital. I remember reading that you should only make your way to the hospital when the pain is stronger. The midwives from the antenatal class said the same thing.

Mum obviously urged us to and a close friend shared the same view. They definitely didn't want us to take the risk since it's our first baby, so after Isyak we drove to DEMC.

I was surprisingly calm, anticipating what's going to happen soon. But my husband was quiet, I know he's more nervous than I am! So once there, we made our way to the labour room where we were greeted by a pleasant looking nurse. I told her about the show and the next thing I know I was lying on the hospital bed, strapped to a CTG machine for 20 minutes. This was done to monitor the baby's heartbeat. Alhamdulillah, he's fine. The sound of his heart beating is just beautiful, mashaAllah! I can't believe we will be meeting him soon, insyaAllah!

Then came the dreadful part where the nurse had to check my opening. I am telling you, I can never be ready with such procedure because it was so daunting the last time I had it that I freaked out this time too. She poked me (I gulped!) and thrusted her two fingers inside me (godek2 inside) and said what I already expected - there is no opening yet. False labor, rupanya. We were allowed to return home but to rush there if I experience strong, persistent labor contraction or if my water breaks. We have to be on standby mode because we can never be sure.

So here I am at home on my bed, after 2 hours of our return, experiencing the start of labor contraction. That's quite soon isnt it? It is somewhat mild and bearable, period pain like, coming in at every 15 minutes tops. And the brownish stain is still there.

So, pray for me friends. I am going to continue timing and probably get a nap in between. I am actually very tired and sleepy (and hungry too!). Hopefully the next time you hear from me is when the baby is safely wrapped in my arms, insyaAllah!

Occasional boredom

2011-12-27T11:29:00.004+08:00

I am allowing myself to be bored because I seriously cannot find anything interesting or better to do. Besides, waiting is making me anxious day by day, (when I should be relaxing myself) so yes, I am just going to do nothing.

Only it is not that easy.

As it turns out, it is something impossible to do! For many of us, our lives are filled with so many stimuli and responsibilities that it is impossible for us to just sit still and do nothing, much less relax even for a few minutes. True much?

"People are no longer human beings. We should be called human doings"

I guess we all should learn to relax - there's a difference between that and hours of laziness - with the first of just 'being' rather than 'doing', don't you think?

Like I said, it was difficult because I am so used to doing things every second that I struggle to relax (like really really relax). For many of us, we allow our body to relax, but not the mind. Our bodies are idle but not the mind. We are constantly thinking, working our minds that in retrospect, we are not actually relaxing at all. True isn't it?

I have been spending so much time at home, I dont't think there was ever a time that I truly relax, be at peace, allowing my mind and body to rest. Many times, I would think what's going to happen next, what am I going to do when I'm done with this or that, when I am going to complete this or that chore, or what's for dessert even, once I am done with dinner. We are constantly thinking, pushing our minds to work unconsciously. I am sure everyone's been through this one way or another.

"The beauty of doing nothing is that it teaches you to clear your mind and relax. It allows your mind the freedom 'to not know'.... and it takes enormous pressure off you..."

Great! Let's be bored once in a while :)

(Excerpts are taken from The Big Book of Small Stuff - quite an interesting read! )

Mood swings

2011-12-24T19:21:00.003+08:00

Been having mood swings for the last couple of days. Probably the last thing I would expect to deal with right now.

My emotion has been very brittle if I may put it that way. I feel elated, at times, very anxious. I don't think I have gone as far as being depressed but little little things seem to upset me much. Then I'll snap. And then I'll cry.

With just a few days away from my EDD, I worry about this sudden mood change of mine. I know family members are trying to let me be, for they either understand or they simply are being oblivious. My husband's been putting up his 'silence' whenever he senses my moodiness, but even that backfires - I became more upset.

So tell me mummies, is this normal? Have any of you gone through similar experience?

The books said nothing so I googled about this. Apparently, it is normal. Mood swings flares during the first trimester, eases during the second, and reappears at the later stages of the third trimester. Hurrm, question has been answered I guess.

I also think it could be stemmed from fatigue, too. Sleeplessness, anxiety, and well, fatigue.

I continuously recite the dhikr and istighfar. I just hope that I will feel more at ease on days leading to my due date.

senyum

2011-12-22T15:52:00.010+08:00

"Your teeth is not aurah, so SMILE"

How true!

I actually smiled to myself upon reading this quote which I came across somewhere, I forgot.

It is one most effortless act yet when doing so, we will be rewarded with pahala. It's charity, it's free. It's sunnah. Prophet Muhammad S.A.W said,

"Smiling in the face of your brother is charity (Sadaqa)"
(Jami Tirmidhi)

Even Rasulullah SAW used to smile the most, why can't we?

Abdullah ibn Haarith, radi Allahu 'anhu, said,

"I have never seen anyone who smiled more than Allah's Messenger."
(Jami Tirmidhi)

We don't lose any by moving those muscles on our face, in fact we gain more.

A smile beautifies our face. The smallest distance between two people is smile. A smile begets a smile and so on. It is infectious. And the world will smile back at you.

So lose that frown and smile as a step to following the sunnah :)

Pictures are from Google

once in a while

2011-12-22T09:29:00.010+08:00

I am not an avid online buyer or shopper to begin with. Actually, I don't even shop online. However, I do browse on websites that offer online shopping. Though tempting most of the time, I just don't dare to start indulging in what I thought would be an addictive hobby.

Until I discovered Groupon and MilkAdeal not too long ago. Yeah yeah I know, lambat tahu! Oh well, better late than never kan. I'm sure most of you are aware of these sites.

Groupon homepage

MilkAdeal homepage

They're not technically online shopping websites. They offer customers great deals and bargains on almost everything (food, travelling, gadgets, retail and services, etc). If something catches your eye, you buy the voucher and redeem it within a period of time. That's all. I subscribed and I have been getting daily updates on great deals which somehow tempt me, especially the getaway deals! However, the redemption period does not allow me to purchase the vouchers as most of them would be during my confinement period - much to my husband's relief.

So, everytime I browse is the time when I salivate looking at the deals and discounts offered, waiting for the time when I would actually purchase a voucher.

Then, I came across this offer at MilkAdeal :

RM89 instead of RM333.90 for 360° Rotating Pu Leather iPad 2 Case + LCD Crystal Clear Screen Protector + Stylus Pen from All 2 Buys Enterprise [73% OFF]

Click here to view more (the redemption period has ended, however)

My heart jumped because this is what we (read : mostly me) have been searching for. Not so much of the cover but the screen protector. For only RM89, you will get 4 things when the real deal is actually double the price for a cover and a screen protector sold separately. To me, it's a fabulous deal.

Of course, my husband with his skepticism refused to give in. So, I work my words with him yada yada yada and he agreed! So yes, it is our first time dealing/purchasing something online. We still have to wait until the item arrives at our doorstep to really be convinced that their service is up to what they promised.

There's another item at MilkAdeal which I think is really cute and worth buying. This goes out especially to the 1st time mum-to-be's :

RM37.50 instead of RM49.95 for Baby's First Year Record Book from NZT Saujana Enterprise, Bukit Jalil [25% OFF]

Don't tell me you're not the least tempted?? Hehe I could have bought that if I hadn't already have my own personalized baby journal/scrapbook. This would be something treasurable and memorable, don't you think? You could even buy this voucher as a gift for someone else!

Click here to view more of the inside.

So, have a click. Feast your eyes on things that might interest you once in a while :)

Put on hold

2011-12-20T10:44:00.008+08:00

3 years have passed since I graduated. With a Bachelor of Education (TESOL) scroll in hand, it has gotten me this far.

3 years of teaching experience in a suburb school has somewhat moulded me into becoming an individual that has matured in thinking and behaviour. At least I'd like to think so. I am still revolving, am striving to be the best and make a difference for I know I haven't quenched every fibre of my being into becoming a very dedicated teacher. I have challenges of my own just like friends in the 'jungles' and the 'rurals', but I know I have touched some lives and I know I have brought a wind of change where learning English is concerned.

I have a long way to go, still, and I am determined to prove others and most importantly myself, of what else that I can contribute.

Beneath all that, however, lies a dream. A dream I have longed dreamt that it has eventually become a promise to self that I am yet to fulfil. I have carried it with me even before I graduated, made a pact with a few close friends about it. Thinking about it now makes me feel ashamed of myself for not grasping it like some of my friends who already did.

My dream is simple. Just like you (and many others, I am sure), I wish to pursue my Masters. No, I want to pursue my Masters.

Those three years could have been a good start, but I didn't make a move. I don't know what was holding me back but I know I was too focused and too tied up adjusting myself in my career. Fatigue and countless frustrations have shoved this dream at the back of my head for a while, until it was eventually forgotten.

Then, I was busy preparing for my wedding. Another reason not to even think about it. In the midst of it all, I still had conversations with a close friend about it and the question "Whatever happened to your enthusiasm and your promise?" was like a shot to the heart. I didn't have an answer. "Promise me that you will pursue your Masters ok" was all she said in return.

And I took her words and remember them until this very day. Thanks V, I promised myself that I will.

pictures from Google

When would be an issue itself, considering the circumstances I am in right now. But I think I have to stop making excuses. If I want this, I have to live my dream and go for it. I know this has to come with some sacrifications, but I believe in faith and rezeki and I know mine is there somewhere.

It's either you want it or you don't.

The nesting instinct

2011-12-19T08:31:00.009+08:00

I am now experiencing what is called The Nesting Instinct. I guess the book bears some truths after all. In my earlier weeks, I didn't quite believe that I (or any heavily pregnant ladies) will be capable of this sudden emergence of the 'nesting instinct'. By now, most women are simply too tired and worn out. Me included.

However, it is just so surprising that I suddenly feel the urge to clean every surface in sight - that's the nesting instinct. Organising the cupboards, scrubbing the toilet floor, dusting and wiping every surface, arranging the slippers and sandals, and making sure that the cushions are in order are just some of the things that sometimes I find myself frantically do.

As well as the physical signs of labour, a common clue that labour is just around the corner is the sudden emergence of the "nesting instinct". If you are close to your due date and find yourself frantically cleaning out drawers, organising cupboards and dusting like crazy, it may be that you'll soon be welcoming your baby into the world. Nesting is probably prompted by your pregnancy hormones and the instinctive desire to prepare the 'nest' for the new arrival. In the animal kingdom, female animals and birds have similar patterns of cleaning and preparation before they give birth. By having the house spotlessly clean, your baby's room ready and all her clothes organized, you are ensuring that she will have the best chance for growth and survival once she is born

Hurmm. It does make sense, doesn't it?

Naturally, I am a tidy person. Close friends would second that, I know. Throughout my pregnancy, tidiness somehow doesn't really click well with me. I am just too tired to even bother if everything is in place and in order. And people don't really mind - pregnancy makes you get away with things a lot! But of course, there are things that appear bothersome and such a nuisance especially when my husband makes the room a shipwreck - that I cannot tolerate, so gagahkan juga diri untuk tidy everything up. And that's as far as it goes. My sister once said, " Rina ni mengandung jadi pemalas and tak heran dah kemas- kemas". Something that I don't get everyday ok!

Though I am now in the home stretch, being tired and breathless are the things that I can't get away from. With the 'tightening' - Braxton Hicks contraction - ever so frequent now, it makes it really difficult to move about quickly. However, the nesting instinct proves to be so empowering that those things do not come in the way. There is always something to do to please this pregnant lady and I might just tidy up my sister's room after this post is published!

I know some of you would say, "Hey, don't push yourself too hard". No, I am not. I am doing all these within my capability and I certainly take that rest to save my energy for labour (and the wakeful nights that lie ahead!). Besides, it makes me move around so I don't become that lembik, inactive pregnant lady and you know what the old folks normally say, "Aktif sikit dah nak akhir-akhir ni, senang beranak". So there. Habis aktif dah nih! :)

The next 10 days will be an exciting time and a bit apprehensive too. I can't believe it!

Moga-moga dipermudahkan, insyaAllah!

It's all in the mind

2011-12-16T20:28:00.002+08:00

Fear and worry are the misuse of the imagination. I read that somewhere. It is true.

At this point of time, I am trying really really hard to not fall for those two and let them swamp me.

Fear. The more you think about how everything will be, how much your body can handle the pain, or just how scary the experience will turn out to be, that's what you will get.

Worry. The more you worry, the scarier it gets. They are related.

Like I said, it is all in the mind. It can play tricks on you. So I have to be positive, shut every negativity out.

It is all in the mind.

InsyaAllah!

my holiday

2011-12-15T16:44:00.005+08:00

I am so happy that my career has frequent breaks. A teacher definitely needs that rest after a semester or a few hectic months to pump themselves up for the upcoming schooling session.

Though it is deemed as a privilege, others might not know that it is not our right (hak). That is why holidays is sometimes not a holiday after all. Being 'bugged' is common and expected. That is why you would still see teachers going to school on every other day during the break and that is inevitable.

Throughout my teaching, I have never had a peaceful holiday so to speak. I still made my way to school for some unfinished business and as one who is supposedly 'yang menurut perintah', you can't say no.

The first year, I was invigilating and I made my way back and forth to school because I had to accept a new post as one teacher got transferred. So I was in school for a few briefing sessions (handing over of duty). The second year I was on duty for Koperasi and my school's invigilator. The next thing you know, it was already time for the teachers' meeting and others and then school reopened without you even realising it. Luckily it was also the year I got married, so I wasn't 'bugged' that much.

This year, the holidays is very much looked forward to because it would be the start of my long break. That is why, this year I am so so relieved and grateful that I am due during the holidays (talking about good planning, eh?) - which means, no phone calls or no text messages that require my being in school.

Only that didn't exactly happen.

I still had to be on Koperasi duty with the students - only I was given the privilege of a 2-day duty and at the start of the holiday. Then, I had to come for a short HEM meeting regarding next year's class arrangement since I won't be around when school starts (nak jugak buat meeting masa cuti). And I was called by my PK1 regarding Headcount and its folder (Examination Unit) because apparently she couldn't find the data. I don't blame her though, because it was in my keep at my place. So, I made my way to school to give her the file and update it.

Last Friday was my last dealing with school as I 'officially' handed over my duty and post as Penyelaras Headcount & SAPS to a colleague who (thankfully) accepted my 'offer' over a short briefing session at Starbucks. It was the only time she was free as she was involved with the SPM marking, so it can't be helped - as long as it is not in school!

So, right now my mind is school-free! I try not to think about it too much ( I still do at times especially regarding Headcount and SAPS) because I know my colleague will do a great job. InsyaAllah, all will be fine.

I don't want to envision the workload once I get back to school after 90 days (aaahhhh, such bliss!). For now, I am just going to enjoy my break and anticipate the great joy that is coming anytime now :)

click! click!

2011-12-14T14:16:00.007+08:00

On the 7th of December, I had the privilege to be captured at my 37th week. It was not quite in the plan all the way to have this maternity shoot. However, since my brother's friend offered and he was willing to spend the time, my husband and I thought, "Why not?"

After many rescheduling, last Wednesday was the day. Fikri came over to our house and the clicking session began.

The setting up :

It started off with shots of yours truly as my husband was still at work, and my sister was still at her uni. I didn't have to move that much, but even that was tiring enough.

The photography session :

It's been quite some time since I was photographed 'professionally' so to speak, so I was a bit awkward in my poses and it took me awhile to relax hehe I was more concern on how 'fat' or 'chubby' I would look :) I guess, that can't be helped!

The silhouette pose :

(my personal favourite)

The session was continued at night when my husband and my sister were home. It was super fun because everyone was so sporting (including my husband) and who would have thought that our living room would make a perfect studio!

I can't wait for the final product. I am sure it will turn out great!

Thanks Fikri for your time and offer. And I love your creativity. Check his link above. He's good :)

The waiting game

2011-12-07T07:46:00.007+08:00

Yesterday night was the second time the pain did tricks on me. At my stage, labour could start at any time now, so you could imagine how alarmed I was - not to mention the husband.

The first time I experienced what I thought was the first stage of labour pain was last week. My stomach was unexceptionally queasy - almost like what I'd feel when I am about to get my period. It's been awhile so I didn't quite register the kind of pain I was feeling. I was restless almost a quarter of the night, tossing and turning, only to discover it was nothing because I somehow fell asleep.

Last night was similar only the pain was stronger. At one point I could feel tears forming in my eyes because it was painful. I was overcame with fear when the pain kept on attacking. However, I was also so sure it wasn't really labour contraction I was feeling because the pain wasn't persistent. It didn't occur at regular, increasingly shorter intervals and longer and stronger in intensity. It's just a more painful crampy premenstrual feeling.

Pheww!

I am so grateful that I have many mommy friends that I could turn to for advice (besides my mother). I love listening to their labour experiences, which to me don't differ that much ( in terms of their signs of labour pain). Their stories have helped me be more mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared as a first-time mum. Sharing stories and discussing my worries prove to be fruitful because I think I can sense the fear gradually fading and I am now anticipating to give birth. Alhamdulillah for the strength!

Also a reason to go out on more dates with girlfriends.

I also turn to these two books (my pregnancy bibles) for information. To me, they are the ultimate guide from preconception to birth and after (how to handle our newborn). What you don't get in one, you get in the other. They equipped yourself with knowledge you're supposed to know and especially to prepare youself with whatever is coming your way. Plus, you know what to ask your doctor and you don't feel too lost when your doctor explains about something with those jargon hehe

(bottom) A book I bought on recommendation, (top) A wedding gift

Right now, it is the waiting game for us. Our baby could arrive any time, any day and my husband has to be ready for that 'drop-everything' call :)

Asam power

2011-12-02T10:36:00.010+08:00

I was first introduced to this restaurant by my in-laws. Didn't know what to expect, I thought Thai Asam Fish is just another eatery with Asam Fish as their ultimate dish attraction. Boy, was I wrong. This restaurant is the one where Asam Fish is concerned. This has become my favourite eat out that serves the best Asam Fish after Sri Thai.

Thai Asam Fish is a restaurant that offers Thai and Chinese dishes (with a contemporary twist) which are absolutely affordable and delicious. It is Halal. All the dishes come in three sizes : small, medium and large. One would never judge its outer simple look because you'd be surprised at how excellent the dishes taste.

So, my husband and I brought my family to this place after many canceled plans. It is located at Section 7 Commercial Centre, Shah Alam (near Jakel). This restaurant is just one out of many other eateries one could find at the Commercial Centre. We went there for dinner. So, let's see what we ordered.

Crab meat with tofu soup (de.li.cious!). It warms your whole body and the taste is superb!

Boneless chicken with dried chili

Sotong goreng tepung (serve with mayo and chili sauce)

Dried chicken curry

Butter prawn

And now, the ultimate dishes :

Thai (steamed) Asam Fish (we chose siakap)

I don't normally eat steamed fish, but this dish is an exception. The asam gravy is something I can never explain because it tastes so so good - masam, manis, semua cukup! - and I like the fact that it comes with long beans, tomatoes and ladyfingers, which blend perfectly with the gravy. The fish is cut into half and it is served boneless so it is easy to just scoop the sweet, fresh fish!

Deep fried siakap with mango and sweet chili (a must try!!!)

This is also my ultimate favourite. It's like kerabu served with deep fried fish. The sliced mangoes are so so sweet and sour, together with the red onions and parsley - out of this world! The gravy at the bottom is actually sweet chili sauce, but the sweetness does not drown the taste of the mango. The fish itself is perfectly deep-fried. I can eat this alone, like seriously.

See how full our table was? We also ordered three dishes of vegetables : Kangkong belacan, Mixed vegetables, and Broccoli with mushroom in oyster sauce.

Scraping off the last bit of fish and asam gravy :)

These are just some of the many many dishes offered. I can't wait to try the others on the menu which I bet are just as tasty. Oh, and the fruit juices are so refreshing. We ordered one jug of watermelon juice. They also have Chinese tea. I can assure you , you will not regret coming here.

Overall :

Cleanliness - 4/5
Ambience - 3.5/5
Worth the money - 5/5

spreading the word

2011-12-02T09:29:00.006+08:00

I'm doing my dear friend a favor.

She has just launched her online business named Smashing Scarves.

So to all shawl lovers, have a click and check her online blog if you have the time okay!

She is just starting, so keep on checking for more new collection :)

welcoming a new day

2011-11-29T15:37:00.004+08:00

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.

Most importantly, a new baby is like the beginning of all things, hope, a dream of possibilities.

Ummi and ayah can't wait to meet you!

the after

2011-11-29T10:39:00.008+08:00

Dealing with grief is something that I am no expert at. But I try to be supportive and empathic to the person involved.

In this case, it's my mother-in-law.

Losing someone, especially your life partner is hard, no matter how mentally and emotionally prepared you are. I can only imagine her feelings everyday, waking up to an empty bed, no one to come home to after a day's work, and no more daily cooking because there's no one to taste them.

She is still at that stage where reminiscing is inevitable. Little little things will constantly remind her of arwah. Like the other day, I brought home McDonalds ice-cream, instantly she said, "Abah suka makan ni". And then it makes you realize that even when someone had left, there are things that will definitely remind you of him/her. Memories are very powerful.

While we used to come over for our weekly visit, now we sleep over every weekend. At least she has a reason to cook again, to feel energised with more people in the house, and for us to see that cheerful smile again. I try to keep her company by having simple chats with her, and most importantly listen to whatever she feels like saying - even if most of what she talks of is about arwah. I believe that is her way of healing - by letting it all out. That's the least that I can do. Sometimes, company is all that matters - even if we don't utter a single word. It's knowing that there are people by your side no matter what and I think that's consoling enough.

I learnt that never take your loved ones for granted. It's total cliche, but it is so true. They will be with you one day, and gone the next.

Alhamdulillah, from what I have seen and been told, my mother-in-law has been a very good wife, attending to arwah's needs all the time while he was still alive. She has been an excellent homemaker (still is) and I think there was never a time that she never puts arwah's and her sons' priorities aside. The only regret would be not being able to be by arwah's side when he left.

She is still mourning (she has to for 4 months and 10 days). I hope she will stay strong throughout although I know this is something very difficult to cope with, insyaAllah.

a year ago today

2011-11-27T08:55:00.007+08:00

It's our 1st wedding anniversary today, alhamdulillah.

1 year of marriage filled with enduring love, passion and eternal happiness.

Our anniversary is a time to look back at the good times and a time to look ahead to live our dreams together.

We have changed over the years of knowing each other, but the sparkle in your eyes is as bright as ever and my love for you is even stronger.

I thank Allah for a lifetime companion whom I can see growing old together with, someone who makes me confortable and safe, and the one I believe will lead us to Jannah.

I can never explain the weak knees you give me whenever you walk into the room and smile :)

And thank you for loving my imperfections. Being with you makes me feel perfect all the time.

Here's to many more years of side by side :)

I love you Muhammad Rizal bin Abdul Rahim, with all my heart :)

oh crab!

2011-11-24T17:31:00.008+08:00

After weeks of seeing it being featured on Warung Kita and Jalan-jalan Cari Makan, we finally set foot on the infamous Mee Ketam Kuala Lumpur, Section 7 Shah Alam. It was for ayah's birthday dinner yesterday, since he has been wanting to go here real bad!

As the name suggests, the menu is basically crab-based, with a few other seafood included like fish (only Ikan Bawal) and udang galah, and a few pasta menu.

My dad and I ordered their signature dish - Mee Kari Ketam.

Only RM4 - the portion is just nice and the crab is fresh and very sweet! The curry is good, but not exceptional.

My sister ordered white rice+chilli crab, my husband had white rice+crab curry and my mum settled for Crab Fried Rice (no pictures taken, though).

We also ordered the Udang Galah Masak Cili.

We had 6 of them. The dish wasn't what we expected - it was overflowing with gravy - but it tasted good (not excellent) nonetheless.

And so, the eating session began. A lot of peeling and sucking involved!

As for dessert, the Lai Chi Kang is very satisfying.

So refreshing!

My only complaint would be the stools. They're too small and unstable especially for a pregnant lady like me. My bum and back were in pain after sitting on it for too long.

Overall :

Quality - 3.5/5
Ambiance - 4/5
Cleanliness - 4/5
Worth the money - 3.5/5

The food is good but not exceptional, but I say give it a try.

daddy cool

2011-11-23T17:50:00.004+08:00

Ayah turns 55 today. Alhamdulillah.

This day is not special only to me, but to all those people whose lives you have touched with your kindness and generosity. I feel so blessed to have you as my Dad.

Your love and humility melts my heart. What you mean to me, is something I can never express with words. I can never thank you enough for your love and care you showered on me.

You are the one who made my childhood special, and I remember every minute of it.

No matter how much time passes and how old I become, you will always be my superman!

I wish you a day, filled with love, joy, care and fun. May you always be healthy and happy.

You are the reason, I am.

Happy Birthday, Ayah. Looking forward to many birthday celebrations together!

Daddy Cool - no longer with a mullet!
Nak jadi atok kenalah potong rambut katanya :)

hitam kuning

2011-11-22T09:18:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was a historical day for all Malaysians, no doubt. After all the commotion, Malaysia silenced Indonesia through our final penalty kick victory. It was a very intense moment indeed but alhamdulillah, luck was on our side.

A very frustrated Indonesian goalkeeper

Good job Harimau Muda!

And I guess we have one person to really thank and be proud of. If it's not for him and his outstanding performance, the Garudas could have scored more.

The best goalkeeper in SEA!
(gambar budget top model gitu!)

I am no football fan, but I am going to say this : Harimau Malaya selamanya!

Congratulations!

Pictures taken from here

some updates

2011-11-16T14:58:00.007+08:00

Me @33 weeks, alhamdulillah

At this stage, I have a few common minor and temporary complaints. Backache and back pain are absolutely unavoidable as it is a problem common for pregnant ladies caused by pregnancy hormones that have a relaxing effect on our joints and ligaments. Supporting the weight of our bum also means there's more strain on the back. This, goes without saying, affects my sleep badly as I now do not enjoy the luxury of a good night sleep due to the pain and my swelling belly. Even with support pillows all around me don't seem to do me justice. Sleeping with the suggested position helps a little. For now, I can only be happy sleeping on my side.

I have started to notice a week back that I always woke up with finger pain and numbness, and also at the wrist. I can't even flex my fingers right. At first I thought I have slept on my fingers since I've been sleeping on my side, but after experiencing it everytime I wake up from sleep, I became worried. A visit to the doctor one day answered my question. This pain and numbness is caused by swelling and weight gain (I must have gained a lot!). My readings confirm that too. So, I have been watching the way I sleep and flexing my wrists and fingers regularly throughout the day. My husband will now and then massage my hands and wrists upwards. Those things help to ease the pain. Besides, I drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy to avoid excessive weight gain.

Next, leg cramps. I experienced my first leg cramp during my 4th month. I was jolted from sleep with this muscle contraction that gave a sharp pain in my legs. It was absolutely nothing like I have ever experienced before. I was crying the whole time. Wailing, was more like it. My husband didn't know what to do so he just massaged the muscle until the cramp subsided. This cramp strikes more now. It hurts real bad that sometimes I am afraid to go to sleep. From my readings, it said that this is caused by the extra weight that I am carrying and the pressure it puts on my leg. Too little calcium and potassium in the diet can be factors too. So, I have been increasing on my milk intake and eating lots and lots of vegie and fruits. I also try to stay as active as possible by walking and I stretch my legs before I go to sleep. So far, alhamdulillah, I have been cramp-free for 3 days now since the last strike.

Swollen hands and feet (oedema) are common and they are also unavoidable. They are a result of a chain reaction in the body. During pregnancy, we acquire extra blood and the growing uterus puts pressure on our blood vessels that causes our blood to pool. The pressure from the trapped blood forces water down into the tissues of our ankle and feet which then results in the swelling. I notice my first swelling at my nose and then my feet and fingers. I have changed shoes/sandals three times due to the swelling. And I have joined my watch strap twice, I don't think I am doing it anymore. Don't even talk about fitting my rings. I'd like to think that my oedema is normal. For now, I raise my feet whenever possible as it gives me that soothing and relaxing effect. And I walk a lot, too. Plus, I drink a lot of water to avoid hydration.

Besides that, stretch marks is inevitable. It is now noticeable especially at my thighs, stomachs and my calf. They are red spots/stretches caused by weight gain. I try to religiously apply Bio Oil at these areas (I sometimes forget due to fatigue and sleepiness). Hopefully it works. Another thing that's worrying me is the red spots that seem to appear on my skin especially at the stomach. They are not rashes and they don't always itch that bad. It is more like body acne of some kind. The doctor said that this is again due to the hormones and they will disappear gradually but I can't help but worry especially when they resurface more. I am applying the cream that the doctor prescribed and am also using the Aiken medicated talc daily. Will need to update with my O&G this coming check-up.

Despite everything, I am absolutely grateful that I get to experience all of these. To be pregnant itself is the ultimate gift from Allah SWT. This is indeed a great bounty of Allah SWT. The virtues of pregnancy make it all a worthwhile experience after all.

It is narrated from the Prophet of Islam that:

“When the woman becomes pregnant, all angels of heaven would pray for her forgiveness as well as all the creatures of the sea. For everyday Allah would write in her account the reward of one thousand good deeds and forgives one thousand misdeeds.

When the child labor commence, Allah would give her the rewards of those who struggle for the sake of Allah (jihad), the reward of the Martyrs and the pious ones. Her sins would be cleansed like a new born. In addition, Allah would give her the rewards of seventy pilgrimages.

When she nurses her child, for every drop of milk Allah would reward her one good deed and forgives one misdeed. Even the heavenly creatures of Paradise-‘hur al’ien, pray to Allah for her forgiveness"

MashaAllah, how rewarding! How loving Allah is. Let us express our endless gratitude to Him for all that He has bestowed upon us, whether we are pregnant or not.

gone but not forgotten

2011-11-10T18:18:00.006+08:00

It has been 11 days now since my father-in-law passed away - a fact that neither of us could really grasp until this day.

His sudden departure was something that we weren't prepared for. He wasn't sick and there were no signs shown of him leaving. When we received the call after Maghrib on the 31st of October, the news was like a pang. My husband was shaking. I was trembling. It was only the day before that we talked, had late lunch together - our usual weekend routine. Who would have thought that that would be the last we saw of him.

The Almighty says, "No self knows what it will earn tomorrow and no self knows in what land it will die." (W31:33; H31:34)

I still remember him smiling, when we took our leave the day prior. A smile which touched my heart. A smile which I don't quite comprehend for it was either a sign of content or pure happiness. When I think back, the smile was like he knew he was leaving, and that he's happy that we came to visit. I know we are happy that we visited.

He was only 59. Young, yes. But again, as The Almighty says,

"When their specified time arrives, they cannot delay it for a single hour nor can they bring it forward," (16:61)

He was a pensioner so he was alone when he passed away. But knowing that he left in a good way was so relieving, alhamdulillah. My mother-in-law found him lying on the praying mat when she came back from work. He must have collapsed while praying or after - with his wudhu' on him, masyaAllah!

Everyone in my husband's family is putting up a strong front,but I know deep down they are battling the grief. One can only imagine what they are feeling, especially my mother-in-law. As a wife, I am trying my level best to keep my husband strong. I will never forget the way he cried the day we received the news. It made me cry. Now and then, it touches my heart listening to him narrating memories of the past involving my late father-in-law.

Though my time spent with him was not long, I will remember him fondly. A wise man he was, his advice and reminders will always be remembered. How I wished he could meet this baby, his second grandchild. May he be placed among the good and may his soul be blessed by Him.

Al-Fatihah.

best friend

2011-10-27T20:22:00.002+08:00

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers. ~Charles W. Eliot

Had the time of my life at this year's Big Bad Wolf Sale.

I will never give up reading.

Books are not made for furniture, but there is nothing else that so beautifully furnishes a house.
Henry Ward Beecher

first tetanus shot

2011-10-27T08:39:00.007+08:00

I received my first tetanus shot 2 days back during my check-up. As I am now entering my 31st week, it is about time I am jabbed.

So why do pregnant ladies need to be jabbed with tetanus vaccine? Throughout your first pregnancy, you will be given two shots, both during your third trimester. From what I have read, this vaccine is for your body to produce antibodies that will help to protect you from any possibilities due to bleeding after you have given birth. So, it is a preventive measure to avoid something bad from happening to you and your baby. This vaccine will not affect or hurt the baby in the womb in any way as the vaccine do not go through the placenta.

As I don't have a faint heart or anything against needles, I was fine. The doctor did mention that it was going to hurt, but personally, it was not that bad. Well, not until that night. My arm became sore and a touch at the injected spot seem to hurt. I could still put up my arm but without a feel of pain. My husband said not to worry much as it is normal to feel that way after an injection.

That night when I was awaken from my sleep, I felt a tingling sensation on my left arm and my palm and fingers were cramped. I let out a small cry and I told my husband about it. He said I might have slept on my left side, thus the pain. I tried moving my fingers to ease the pain and cramp, and it subsided after a while.

It has been three days. The pain is still there and my upper arm is starting to swell a bit. I would wake up from sleep with a cramped arm and fingers. I got worried so I googled about tetanus shot and its side effects. Turns out, I am not alone. Every pregnant lady experiences what I am experiencing and it is normal. This vaccine affects your nerve system and its flow so it is normal to experience the cramps. Pheww!

It takes approximately one week for the pain to ease. I am lucky because I don't nauseate, my hands are not shaking and I don't feel like blacking out anytime. It is suggested that if the pain still prevails, I should dab the injection spot with a warm towel - just to decrease the swelling. So hopefully, the pain will subside soon.

Anyway, that meeting with the doctor was my last at the clinic as I will continue my upcoming check-ups at the hospital that we have chosen for me to deliver, that is Darul Ehsan Medical Centre (DEMC) at Shah Alam. We have been referred and alhamdulillah, for our next appointment we got the O&G that we wanted!

As for the baby, alhamdulillah, he is doing absolutely great. He has grown and he now weighs at 1.8 kg already! He was only 720g the last time we checked. His position is excellent, my water in the womb is sufficient, and my placenta is in place. I gained 3kg this time, a kilo extra but doctor said it is fine :) As of now, I weigh 62kg (erk!).

So, hopefully everything goes well. Can't wait for the appointment this coming Monday!

family addition

2011-10-25T20:29:00.008+08:00

Another two of my cousin sisters tied the knot recently. Their events were held weeks subsequently, which explained why my weekends were full for the past 2 weeks.

It's amazing to see how everyone has grown when I could still remember the times when we would run around shirtless back at our kampung and all we cared about was who got more 'buah kopi'. Ahh, the good 'ol times.

I managed to attend both their events, alhamdulillah. I have always loved the akad nikah scene so witnessing my cousins being officially knotted after the agreed 'SAH' formed a lump in my throat. Such sacred event, I must say.

Anyway, congratulations to both Ika and Kak Suzi! Wishing you a blissful marriage and may you be granted children in abundance! :)

Ika's solemnization and reception

Kak Suzi's solemnization and reception

Also, congratulations to Farizal (a family friend who is literally like family already) and Hafsah on their recent solemnization, which I missed. InsyaAllah I will make it to your reception this December!

(pictures taken by my brother)

More weddings to attend!

thoughts

2011-10-25T18:11:00.004+08:00

At this point of time, I feel so helpless. I am normally an active person but pregnancy has made me feel like an old lady with aches of all kind. Not complaining, no, but there are times when everything is just so overwhelming that I can't help but grumble a bit. The changes, especially now that I am nearing the end of the lap, are taking its toll on my body. But which pregnant lady has not gone through this?

Astaghfirullahalazim.

It saddens me that I even bear such attitude. Throughout my pregnancy, I admit I do grumble, less realising that I should bear such difficulties patiently and calmly as I insyaAllah will be rewarded.

An extract taken from Upbringing of Children by Moulana Moosa ibn Ahmad Olgar :

After sometime has elapsed, the couple desire that Allah Taa'la bless them with a child and thus through marital consummation Allah Taa'la grants their wish. The first stage that follows is that of pregnancy. A person should not be ashamed of being pregnant or treat it as a big burden, as there are many virtues and rewards for being pregnant.

As I have 2 more months to go, I am starting to feel a little sad knowing that I will miss this bump. Most of all, I wonder if I have done enough for this baby while he is still in the womb (as Islamic Education starts right there) before he sees the world. The thoughts that I carry, the feelings that I have, the kinds of books that I read, the things that I see and eat, the company that I have and the things that I hear; they all have an effect to the baby. This is because the mother's nervous system is affecting all the systems of the baby.

O Allah, thank you for such precious gift..

I pray to you Allah that I will remain calm and happy throughout the remaining pregnancy..

I pray that I always generate good and positive thoughts..

I pray that my baby and I will be protected from calamities...

That I don't hold grudges, not to be unduly worried about something and not to be overtaken by grief..

I pray to you Allah that I will have a smooth labour and everything will be eased..

Amin!

for you

2011-10-25T18:00:00.003+08:00

To my beloved husband,

THANK YOU for always being there,

Though I know you are tired beyond compare,

Thank you for the hugs, assurance and gentle touch,

In times when I totally need such,

Two more months to go,

When our family will grow,

Together hand in hand,

We will be brave this life's chance.

I love you :)

pretty weary

2011-10-17T18:03:00.003+08:00

I have been very tired of late. I think I am not getting the rest that I very much needed. That's because partly, I don't give myself a chance to. You see, I have been on the go for like almost everyday AND every weekend.

There are just so many things to settle in school (like people don't know already) and we have been attending wedding invites and all sorts of events every weekend. No time to slot for anything else man! I am too tired to even worry about my weight gain so far. By the end of the day, I am absolutely knackered that I don't even care that my snoring seems to fascinate my husband. I mean, that's normal for a pregnant lady ok. It's even stated in THE book.

Physically, I am now bigger and I pretty much slow down on everything. I am at my 30th week and it is just a matter of time until the baby pops out, insyaAllah!

On top if it all, I can't wait for the school holidays to commence.

I.WANT.TO.REST.

September and October happenings

2011-10-13T18:00:00.010+08:00

I attended many special events last month and (especially) this month. There are more to come for the remaining October and even more come November! Thought of sharing so let the photos do the talking :)

24th September - Durra & Muzzammil's reception

Another dear friend of mine, who is also my ex-housemate, and university mate, took the next step in her life. She was officially knotted on the 23rd of September with her beau, Muzzammil. Gorgeous bride, she was. Thumbs up for the food and I absolutely love the whole deco. Lovely! Congratulations Durra! All the best in leading your new life :)

(l-r)married, married, the celebrated couple, will be married, married, will be married :)

1st October - Ammar's 1st birthday celebration/kenduri kesyukuran

It was my cousin's son birthday so they held a kenduri kesyukuran to celebrate his 1st year. Had a great time there. The food was just amazing. Can't get enough of the Laksam. And Ammar Fayyad, may you grow to be an obedient and wonderful son to both your ummi and walid :)

(pictures courtesy of Nana)

2nd October - Ina's parents' kenduri kesyukuran

A kenduri held in conjunction with Ina's parents' departure to the Holy Land, Mecca.

(picture courtesy of Hidah)

8th October - Eda & Ariff's reception

Eda is the one who took pictures of my engagement, pre-wedding, and my solemnization. Now, she is finally married! Couldn't be more happier. Food was G-R-E-A-T and the whole wedding was beautiful! You looked gorgeous, dear! Have a fantastic honeymoon in Maldives!

8th October - Birthday BBQ

Nazliah and her family held a Birthday BBQ to celebrate the birthdays of hers and her husband. This laid back event was held at her parents' backyard. It was a simple gathering for us homies and families and also to celebrate the end of her confinement after giving birth to her second child :)

Our parents are friends since Nazliah and I first met in primary so my whole family was there too. Loved the food, the desserts and the company! Too bad I suffered from an ear pain (it was suddenly clogged and I was slightly hearing impaired that night) so I couldn't really enjoy the night as my head was really dizzy and felt like exploding anytime. I even left early with my husband. Nevertheless, it was a joyous occasion for all of us. We should do this more often! :)

Nazliah with my husband, my siblings and her sister

The delicious rainbow cake which I didn't get to taste. And I made the fruit salad! :)

(pictures by Nazliah)

Looking forward to more special occasions and events this month!

names

2011-10-07T11:47:00.002+08:00

I have always known what to name my children. Before we were married, my husband and I have talked about this a couple of times and we sort of agreed to a few names. Suffice to say, we are still sticking to the same decided ones before.

Ever since we found out the gender of our baby (we will be expecting a boy, insyaAllah!), we can never be happier. And we are very certain of our choice of name. To me, giving names is such a joy, just as parents are when they are blessed with a child.

It is reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"On the Day of Resurrection, you will be called by your names and by your fathers' names, so give yourselves good names." (Hadith Abu Dawud).

Therefore, one of our first duties towards our child besides giving care and love is to give them good, meaningful names.

I have a liking for traditional, historical Arabic names. To me, they are simple not to mention meaningful, too. So yes, our children will be named as such. Though we have already decided on a few, we still google the internet for other names just for fun. We would mix and match a few names and agree or disagree if they sound pleasant or not. It has become our favourite past time. Those names we came up with are special to us that we feel like naming our children with each one, but of course, I don't think a dozen of kids is what we plan on having!

Since we have a few as our favourites to choose from, I think we might have to draw lots. Better still, perform the Istikharah prayer.

Whatever it is the names that we (will) finally decide on, hopefully it will befit our child and his life, insyaAllah!

into the final round

2011-10-05T17:56:00.004+08:00

I turned 26 yesterday. Alhamdulillah. I have always dreamed of reaching this age and looking at where I am right now, I can never be thankful to Him for all that He has showered upon me.

Yesterday, was not only special because it was my birthday but also because little peanut turned 7 months. MasyaAllah! How fast time flies. I can't believe I have surpassed both my first and second trimesters without much complications and in approximately 2 and a half months from now, our lives (my husband and I) are about to change! That thought has never failed to tingle my whole body with excitement as well as anxiety. Until the time comes, I pray that Allah will give me good health and strength to go through this final months smoothly.

I know I haven't been updating here as much especially on my pregnancy journey. For one, facing the laptop's screen is dizzying and I can only think of lying down all the time. Mostly, I have been preoccupied with my own personal Pregnancy Journal.

Ever since I started, it has been like my own baby. I am so engrossed with it right now! It is a book filled with personal pictures, ramblings, baby scans, poems etc. A friend suggested this idea and another friend actually bought the notebook for me. I love it because I get to experiment with the creative side of me and so far I can say that I am proud! This journal has recorded almost everything from the moment I knew I was pregnant, the first kick, my first MGTT and up until now. I hope to note down more of this incredible journey for the remaining months to come. I know it will be something very valuable to the both of us and also to the baby.

Can't wait for the next scan. I can't wait to meet you again, little peanut!

the umpteenth time

2011-08-14T12:42:00.006+08:00

It still amazes me that we still remain friends after so long. Even so, I have never doubted our friendship, which reaches its 14th year this year. I know we would come this far. Alhamdulillah.

My sisters from other mothers, Hidah and Ina

Like every other year, we try to make it a point to meet every weekend and since it's Ramadhan, we went out for iftar yesterday. Like always :)

We opted for something light - Subway at Plaza Massalam Shah Alam.

Alhamdulillah, kenyang!

Thanks for a meaningful and fun girls' session, and thanks Hidah for climbing over the gate (again!) because yours truly forgot the gate's control.

May we continue this for many many years to come!

self-control

2011-08-11T16:21:00.007+08:00

Alhamdulillah, we are now on our 11th day of Ramadhan. We are now entering the second phase of the month which is Forgiveness. Alhamdulillah, Allah has given us the opportunity to experience our xth Ramadhan.

Talking about Ramadhan, this is my most challenging so far. I don't mean challenging in terms of abstaining myself from eating and drinking. Yes, I had my worries but as it turned out, I'm surprisingly fit to fast and I have been doing fine so far. I try not to overeat and eat healthily to compensate for the energy loss. I can feel that my body is healthier and alhamdulillah, the baby is doing just fine, too.

It's just that I can't help feeling like a slob most of the time. I don't know if it's the hormones or the weather (or the two together), moving around proves to be such an ordeal, really. Most of the days, I don't feel like doing anything at all and I have to force myself to get out of bed and make my way to school. Once in school, it's a different story altogether.

Self-control is something that I am struggling with.

You see, it is understandable that when you are fasting, you are coming from a hungry and lethargic place so definitely your emotions tend to strike much sharply. Adults, kids - we are all the same. Only we adults are expected to be better in controlling our emotions as patience is a virtue expected from every Muslim especially in this Holy Month.

I realise that I tend to get easily irritated over little things that my students do. Petty things seem to trigger my temper. If a student enters the class late, I can feel the heat rising. If they make too much noise I can sense that I am going to tick off anytime soon. Despite constantly reminding myself not to spoil my fasting by indulging in anger that contradicts the very essence of the month, I still am challenged by this test.

I make du'a everyday so that I will be given the strength to control such emotion which I know is His test. Lagipun, orang selalu pesan, banyakkan bersabar masa mengandung. Takut nanti turun dekat anak. And I have to admit the truthfulness of such reminder.

It has been narrated by Abu Huraira (May Allah be pleased with him) That Allah's Messenger Muhammad ( ) Said:

“ The strong is not the one who over comes the people by his strength”
"But the strong is the one who controls him while in anger."

May this be a reminder to myself and all of us. Strive for the best and may we be able to discipline and self-restraint ourselves to fully achieve the meaning of Ramadhan, insyaAllah!

SAPS

2011-08-06T13:37:00.003+08:00

I'm pretty sure by now most teachers are familiar with the new web-based system known as Sistem Analisis Peperiksaan Sekolah or SAPS in short. According to the NKRA Unit,

"Sistem ini diwujudkan untuk kemudahan kepada pengguna-pengguna di setiap peringkat warga KPM (sekolah, PPD dan JPN) supaya boleh melaksanakan tugas-tugas Pengumpulan data secara yang lebih sistematik dan praktikal berkaitan, Head count, Data mata pelajaran, Enrolmen murid, Data guru mata pelajaran, Profil sekolah"

Implemented in July, SAPS has received raving feedback from teachers nationwide.

Frankly, I had my significant reservations when I was first told and briefed about SAPS. I thought it very unlikely that such system would work. There were a lot going on my mind and I had my worries as a Setiausaha Headcount (I work closely with Setiausaha Peperiksaan) while I prepared myself to drop the bomb to the teachers at my school. I was very skeptical. Many teachers question whether such system is necessary, too.

You see, even with our previously adopted assessment system, my school has been facing problems of our own regarding keying-in the examination data. Getting all teachers to meet the dateline is such an ordeal that we (myself and our S/U Peperiksaan) have to constantly console each other to keep our sanity. It is such a hassle chasing teacher after teacher who don't seem to care. So yes, with this new system, I am very very skeptical, what more with it being online.

As expected, SAPS proves to be a lot of a problem. We started with a fitful attempt just trying to log into the system. For one, the server is always busy and it takes hours to just key-in the data for a class. It causes major frustrations to us teachers and it affects our lesson as this is what we can only think about. With a shared dateline, it's no surprise that the server always hang due to heavy traffic. Plus, with a weak Internet connection at school, most of us have to work at home. To me, SAPS is sapping us, already tired teachers.

Ever since this system is implemented, my husband has seen me work extra hours at home. He's complained a bit, but there's nothing that I can do. I have to constantly monitor my school's progress and try to solve the problems faced by teachers so that they can key-in the data online, which I don't have the time while I'm in school. I am giving the best to help them but sometimes that's as much as I can do because the server, more often than not, does not do us justice.

However, I have to say that I am surprised and grateful to majority of the teachers in my school because they seem to cooperate well. They waste no time keying-in and it made my job a lot easier. Their effort is something that I truly appreciate, especially those senior teachers who are 'technologically challenged' to put it nicely. Of course, with only a week left, there are still some (expected) beings who don't seem to care and show no effort or signs of wanting to start. Being the Admin, I have the advantage of knowing who's done it and who's not, which is cool by the way :)

While I appreciate and applaud the Education Ministry's project in reducing teachers' workload, for now, all I can see is the system is failing most of us. I still don't see how it will be really useful and I am anticipating future decisions about this.

I am still remained skeptical, but of course, I hope what seem like an aimless start will create the beginnings of a common ground which we all can work together to achieve the initial objective.

apple of our eyes

2011-08-06T12:05:00.003+08:00

How can you not love such smile, such laughter and such adorable face???

Adam, Mak Su misses you! I am going to gomol you tomorrow!! :))

of food and cravings

2011-08-04T09:28:00.004+08:00

I get asked a lot about my cravings, especially now that it's Ramadhan. Well, to tell the truth, I don't have any particular food or meal that had me really salivated (yet). So far, the cravings have been mild, nothing out of the ordinary. But I remember being a big eater for the first three months of my pregnancy. I feed on nasi lemak anytime I had the chance and swallow almost any food that's within my reach.

Occasionally, I would feel like eating something special like a dish my mom has never cooked for a long time, the laksa Jusco at Mid Valley (oh, it is heaven!!) and roti canai - it being special because I don't eat that much of roti canai and it has been ages since I ate one so it is kinda special. Once, my throat longed for that yong tau fu at Subang Restaurant and I raised both hands once they touched my tongue and made its way down to my stomach. It was that good, really, to have your cravings satisfied.

And that Dumpling Set Noodle at Ketam Village Steamboat which I am lost for words. After sooo long, it tastes so so good and boy, how satisfying it made me. My mother-in-law has been really kind so as to cook fine and scrumptious food whenever we pay a visit. She's an excellent cook, so my ferocious appetite has always been fed, without fail :)

As I am nearing my 5th month, I realise that I can't stuff myself with too much food. The result? Instant vomiting, which is gross and painful. Sometimes, I can't even finish the small portions on my plate. I have now grown accustomed to eating small every 2 hours to avoid being hungry and to save myself from vomiting. As for cravings? They are still very mild, but for now I have grown a liking for soy milk and anything soupy. And since it's the Ramadhan, Roti John has its permanent space on our dinner table, so far :)

Alhamdulillah, my fasting has been good and I managed to perform my tarawikh. Sometimes my feet hurt and they cramped but nothing serious. I hope to be given the constant strength to face the remaining Ramadhan.

As for now, I am looking forward to tomorrow because I can't wait to have Nandos for berbuka! Just something I feel like having, suddenly :)

parenthood experience

2011-08-02T17:28:00.010+08:00

As newbies, you could imagine how psyched we were making our way to the Parenthood Expo last Saturday. I, especially, was anticipating many things. For the most part, we were anxious to know what awaits us. Even as early as 11 am, the exhibition hall was already jam-packed with eager parents and their kids. Pregnant moms were everywhere! Strollers of all kinds were being pushed here and there, causing some traffic which to me was unavoidable. I tried my best to squeeze into tiny spaces to save myself from the suffocation. It's a good thing my tummy is still tiny or I would have bumped mine into others'. That's how crowded the area was. My husband had to hold my hand all the time for fear of losing me in the sea of people as one poor husband did.

At the entrance

So, we scouted around first. We pretty much went to all booths and marked those which we thought could do with a second visit. To tell you the truth, we weren't that familiar with most of the brands or outlets so we only focused on names/brands which we planned on buying initially. Our first stop was at a booth which displayed the breast pump that I wanted. I finally resorted to buying Spectra 3 Electric Breast Pump after getting good reviews from a few friends who have and been using it. Plus, it isn't costly which certainly is up for grabs. The specifications are pretty similar to an international brand I know so I will have to wait for another 5 months to know if it really functions well. I don't want to pay too much attention to brand because I feel that what works for some might not work for me. So, I am just going to be happy and certain with my choice. I also bought some storage bottles which were on sale. Next, we moved on to strollers. This was mostly my husband's choice. He eyed one from Graco and off we went to the booth. For starters, there were many to choose from so I got dizzy for a while. Like seriously. My husband was so ecstatic it's like he's buying a car. I have never seen him that excited so I let him be. We then decided to get the 3in1 kind which we planned on buying. Just so you know, all the items were on discounts, so you could imagine how thrilled we were. The price was in our range of budget so we closed the deal before we started to change our minds.

Ours is similar to this googled picture, only it is in one colour tone.

While waiting for the worker to assemble our stroller

Next, we searched for infant feeding bottles. I only want bottles which are BPA-free because I do not want my baby to be exposed to chemicals which might leech from BPA plastic bottles. However, most feeding bottles now are BPA-free since all products are beginning to take heed the government's safety measure. A friend suggested The First Years and I searched for it. I loved the product instantly! I grabbed The First Years : Breastflow Bottles set for only RM79.90 with a 30% discount.

This is what the set contains

Besides, these bottles work naturally like breastfeeding. The baby will be able to control the flow of the milk when they drink from the bottle just like when they are breastfeeding. I plan to breastfeed my baby so these bottles will be used only when I am off to work, insyaAllah. Plus, the nipple or teat mimics the feel of a breast so hopefully my baby will not face confusion later. Still, I have to wait for another 5 months to really know if it works well or not.

I also grabbed the Safe and Certain Microwave Sterilizer from The First Years. This will be used to sterilized used bottles and all the equipments using the microwave. It was cheap after a 50% discount. I couldn't help buying, but of course it is necessary.
After that last purchase, I decided to call it a day. My feet were failing me and I was exhausted. Plus, we were starving so we made our way out with all of our purchases (now we became one of those who caused the traffic with our stroller!) and I couldn't be more relieved to finally breathe the fresh air outside the stuffy hall.

So there. My sharing of our parenthood experience. December baby, we can't wait!

Ramadhan

2011-08-02T10:05:00.004+08:00

Yesterday marked the first of Ramadhan. Unfortunately, I was down with viral fever which was quite frustrating. I had to break fast as my health condition did not permit me to continue. The vomiting left me no strength and I was worn out. I finally gave in and took my medication as instructed by the doctor and tucked myself in bed for hours.

Today, I woke up feeling much better but the flu and the sore throat still persist. So, here I am in school, following my routine. For now, one class is over, two more to go. Alhamdulillah, I am still fasting.

Thankfully, we all get to go back early due to the fasting month - a luxury that we didn't get to experience last 2 years. As a one session school, we are not entitled to a 'jadual anjal' but whatever it is that caused this wind of change, I am very very grateful.

Happy fasting everyone!

her second

2011-08-01T21:45:00.008+08:00

She was the first to tie the knot amongst us. She was the first to give birth to a cute little girl 2 years ago. She was also the one who organized the hen night for the three of us (Hudah, Shaf and myself) when we were getting married last year. At her 6th month, she managed to throw Iwani her baby shower 2 months ago with our help.

Being thoughtful, Iwani decided to throw Nazliah her own baby shower in return. We agreed in unison since she didn't have the chance to have one during her first and we didn't even throw her a hen night when she decided to get married. Although her second, we believe it would compensate. After all, it's the thoughts that count.

So, last Friday was chosen to celebrate the arrival of her second child. It was a perfect timing before the fasting month and also a time for all of us to meet after quite some time. The usual suspects, us homies, met at a decided time at Nazliah's house.We planned this surprise with her elder sister who let us into her family's house and her husband who supportive enough to take her out for some grocery shopping to give us time to set up.

After the simple set up

We got excited over the balloons

While waiting for them to come home

Don't know what I was so serious about :)

We bought KFC, ordered some cupcakes, and some refreshments, enough to feed us for a late dinner.

Cupcakes ordered by Iwani, which arrived later than the celebrated lady! Haha

So when they finally came back, we didn't know how to surprise her because she got in from the other wing of her house. Fortunately, her elder sister baited Nazliah's daughter into coming to the other side of the house, where we were faithfully waiting. The little toddler came and we gave her the balloon and made her call her mummy. It worked!

Thank you Nia!

She was surprised, alright! The simple shower cum mini gathering went well. We had a great time catching up and laughed over silly jokes. We took our leave when Nazliah's husband came down bringing a tearful Nia who insisted on her mummy putting her to bed. Auwww.

To dear Nazliah, wishing you a safe delivery and all the best!

a different kind of shopping

2011-07-24T17:05:00.007+08:00

We went baby (window) shopping yesterday. We have started scouting for necessities now that I am 17 weeks pregnant. Well, let me just say that husband and myself were absolutely clueless as to what to get. We didn't even know where and how to begin with! We know the necessary stuffs but when there are just too many to choose from, a headache ensues. Let's not begin with the price. When you plan on having a baby, you are already venturing into a very expensive long-term investment. Not complaining, no. But it's like they always say, if you want the best you have to fork out more.

So, as I was saying, every item is not cheap. I was so shocked to discover that a basic breast pump set could cost up to a thousand ringgit! Of course, that comes with a good and established brand, but still, I didn't expect it to cost that much. Friends who are mummies keep on reminding me to invest on a good one, but I am still considering my options.

Then we moved on to strollers. We are planning on getting the 3in1 kind, in which the seat is portable. It can also be used as a car seat and a carry cot. Preferably reversible seat strollers for our convenience as I want the baby to face us when we push it. This is actually my favourite item so you could imagine how frustrated I was when we didn't find any that caught our eye. Some are just ridiculously pricey. It's okay, we still have more time to look for the perfect one. Hopefully we will get what we wished for.

Next, the baby cot. My sister-in-law suggested to get one that comes with a changing table. It will do you and the baby justice, she said. So we narrowed our search to that kind. Again, we didn't find any that look purchasable (because of its price and design). However, after seeing a changing table/cupboard being displayed, I am starting to consider its practicality. The below racks can be used for keeping all the baby necessities - pampers, lotions, oil, garments. So all the items would be kept nicely at one place and easy to get. With the attached wheels, I can easily wheel it anywhere I want and easy to store. And the price is not that expensive, too. That way, we can find a decent cot with a decent price. We have a few in mind, but like I said we are still considering our options.

So there. The main things which we aim to get for now. I am more keen on getting the pumps first because that's on top of the list. All the more reasons to look forward to this coming weekend for the Baby Expo. Can't wait!

p/s I now walk funny with a growing belly! ;)

The Y Generation

2011-07-18T16:09:00.003+08:00

I don't know what seem to cause the silent commotion in my school, but every teacher I know has lost the drive these days. I have to admit, my school has gone from bad to worse - in terms of its discipline. It's like we are all on the edge, waiting for it to become even worst. Many of us just can't seem to be bothered because we have all tried our level best to combat this problem but to no avail. It's like they are out of control. And you know, a teacher can do as much but we all have our own baggage to carry.

The Y Generation. That's what we call them. The pampered lot, if you would like to call it. A generation that has transformed the way school nowadays work. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't students supposed to adhere to the school? But now schools have to cater to the way students are, which I think is the root of all evil. I'm getting sick of my Superior repeatedly saying "Students are not to be blamed. We are". When I first stepped into this profession, yes, I hold on to that reminder like it's my life I'm depending it on. But after being in school for almost 3 years, I have seen and experienced enough to discard it. The reminder makes me smirk.

I'm so fed-up with students who are so rude. Even rude doesn't seem appropriate to describe their state of being. They scream at you, call you names, say vulgar words right to your face and threaten to kill you even. They tease you just to see your limits and they are just reluctant to study. This is what I call pure evil. Memang jahat sejahatnya. It's not the teacher's fault that they act the way do, it's because that's how they are. Parents don't seem to care much, all they know is attack the school back once they are being called. Don't bother to sympathize or empathize if you have been teaching a Grade A daily school or a boarding school. They are all God-sent, your students. Even so, they might pose a problem of other sort.

And because of that we have been concentrating so much on curbing the discipline that our academic gets affected. It's detrimental. We can't even rise as this discipline problem seems to be our main agenda every single day. However, students are not much better. It's worrying, yes, but they have drained the best of us that we couldn't be bothered. To me, it's like talking to an empty vessel. Istiqamah is the key, but I am so tired already. So, we resort to being silent. Why should we when our venting always backfire?

It's an ordeal, trying to change a caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly.

the first trimester

2011-06-16T18:25:00.003+08:00

The 2 weeks holiday was very well-spent. If not, better. I had my necessary rest (I wish I had more time) and I think I did just that. What with my sickness taking quite a toll on me, I've never felt so good just lying around, watching tv and sleep, like most of the time. You have no idea how that just makes me feel like I'm in heaven on earth. So when school reopens, you'd expect how sulky I'd get and how I would dread Monday morning. No more waking up late and having breakfast in front of the tv. No more chilling around.

Only, that didn't exactly happen.

I received a call from school 2 days prior to school day, that I had to go to PPD for three days for the merging of exam data. I pumpfisted to the air and my husband raised an eyebrow for I used to dread going to PPD. I guess I wasn't ready for school at a time when I am still coping with my sickness which seems to come untimely. That scares me. What if I'm in the midst of teaching and I feel like vomitting and I don't make it to the toilet? What if I suddenly feel extremely exhausted that I couldn't even budge from my seat to go to class? And not to mention the frequent visits to the loo because my bladder can't seem to contain any second longer? And you know how tiring school can get.

So the 'trip' out of school was like a warming up for me. There were a couple of times while I was working there that the nausea hit like a wave. Thankfully I managed to ease myself and I think I frequent the loo there more than the permanent workers did in a month combined.

I realise that I got worse when I'm nearing the end of my first trimester. The first 2 months were smooth and I was starting to count my blessing when I vomitted for the first time. It was quite bad. That's how it all started. I vomit everyday now and I gag. And don't even start on my sleep. I rarely sleep well at night too. For some reasons, my nose is blocked the moment my head lands on the pillow. Everytime! I think my husband gets his first training of handling a 'baby' crying in the middle of the night, only this time it's a 'baby tua' he's dealing with. Yes, I cried because I couldn't breathe and I couldn't sleep. Sleep is very important to me, especially now. He had to console me to sleep and normally I'd forget how I did go back to sleep when I woke up the next day. Poor husband. I guess he's just as tired. But after a while, he would just let me be Haha

Apart from that, I'm battling to wake up in the morning. My body just wouldn't move and it aches, especially at the pelvic area as it is now expanding to support my expanding womb. I feel like an old lady, really. I have to move very slowly to avoid the pain. Sitting down for a long time gives the identical effect, too, which is why I sometimes walk around the house to ease the pain.

So, I went to school today. Alhamdulillah, I am starting to get a hang of it. But they said I didn't look too good. Yeah, anybody could tell, I guess. Thankfully my students behaved. They said they missed me, ha!

I guess I've finally got the taste of this sickness which my pregnant friends used to frequently whine. However, mine is just a tinge if compared to others' experience which are far worse. I'm hoping for a better 2nd trimester and a healthier feeling, InsyaAllah. Thank you Allah for giving me a chance to experience all this :)

the beginning

2011-05-31T12:40:00.003+08:00

You know, when the thing that you've been praying for has been granted, it's almost too good to be true and you can only thank Him for the blessings He has given.

I will never forget the day when the double pink line appeared on the test stick. We were overhwhelmed with joy and the relief was something that can't be explained with words. Our prayers had been heard and granted. We are now expecting parents, insyaAllah.

Alhamdulillah, I'm now at my 10th week - 2 more weeks to go before the end of my first trimester. Wow, I still can't believe I'm carrying another being inside my womb. The scan last week left me and husband a little choked for we saw your beartbeat. You are now called a fetus, which means an "offspring". If that isn't exciting enough!

So far, pregnancy has been treating me good with the occasional nausea and gagging. I am so grateful that I don't have problem swallowing food, in fact I seem to have a ferocious appetite. It is quite disheartening seeing the numbers on the scale increase to numbers I've never reached before , but it's for a good cause (tsk!). I hope I don't put on too much weight in the months to come for I can't even fit my jeans at all, even when I'm still at my first trimester.

For the most part, I hope I could fight off the fatigue and sluggishness. When you've always exercised, you start feeling so unbelievably tired and all you want to do is to crawl into bed and lie down. I wish to continue with a gentler routine but not until I am truly stable and okay. I've read that paying attention to fitness is important as it offers plenty of benefits for pregnant women.

Everything is still surreal and everytime I reminisce that fateful day, I can only thank Him for such blessing. Alhamdulillah!

not anymore

2011-04-13T17:57:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling a lot of things right now.

A whirlwind of emotions.

I keep questioning my rights and the validity of my actions.

I wonder why some people (read : you who causes me heartache) can be so heartless and so egoistic that friendship takes a backseat.

It annoys me that at 26, some people (read : you who causes me heartache) acts ridiculously. High school drama is so yesterday and I thought we're all over it already.

It just baffles me as to why some people (read : you who causes me heartache) are just so self-centered, they think they have to be pleased and attended to all the time, like they're some kind of a Queen.

I am done being the one who always makes the first move, trying to mend things when it should have been you. I thought you would have understood, but apparently you don't seem to get my gesture.

I don't care what happens now because I think our friendship has lost its genuineness. I don't know if your act has served its purpose, but thanks, I am truly affected by your doing - the coldness you've been giving- which you are truly good at. Bravo.

I promise not to let you get in the way because you have caused so much heartache not even a lover could have caused. Not anymore. I thought you're a friend, but apparently you're not even close to being one.

I'm just being me and too bad you can't accept that. Because I have long accepted the fact of who you are and you don't seem to appreciate my tolerance and others for that matter.

So long.

a new member

2011-04-11T17:58:00.004+08:00

As of Saturday, I am an aunt. I am now a Mak Su!

Alhamdulillah, my sister-in-law gave birth to a cute baby boy who weighs 3.8kg.

He is named Muhammad Adam Irfan bin Abdul Razak.

Welcome to the world, sweetie pie! Mak Su can't wait to cuddle and kiss you :)

However, we weren't able to meet him yet as he was immediately quarantined after birth due to a suspected lung infection. Poor baby! Only parents are allowed in the NICU, so the above picture is courtesy of my brother-in-law.

Today, we were informed that the report states that his lung is clear of any infection but he still has to stay for further monitoring.

I hope everything will be okay and he gets to go home in a good condition. He's been away from his mum for days now and I know how my sister-in-law longs to cuddle her baby.

Our prayers are with you, Adam!

recently

2011-04-06T16:52:00.005+08:00

I'll let the pictures do the talking ok?

@Almeera's cukur jambul, my cousin's daughter.

Chubby Almeera AzZahra

The best kambing golek! Yum!

Well-fed. Great food Kak Fira!
(pictures courtesy of Farouk, my brother)

@Tandoori, for dinner

A pose for the camera before completely being blown away by the scrumptious, exotic North Indian dishes. The best!

Still waiting for the pics from Shaf's wedding. Have a great day people!

i need to breathe

2011-03-30T14:59:00.005+08:00

I have been anticipating for 29th of March to come because it would be the day when everything would end. It's the climax for all of the hard work and time poured, sacrifices made, and probably the 3 most hectic and emotional months of my (and other teachers') life.

Yesterday, the District Level Choral Speaking Competition and the District Level Marching Competition (GO) were held - in which both I am involved directly and which I am passionate about. I don't think I have juggled my work and duty the way I did for the past months because of this obligation and also because the competitions were held on the same day.

Unlike other schools, our school sent its choral speaking team to compete for the first time this year. I was put incharge and I took the responsibility humbly. I don't think I have been this committed. The fact that the students willingly cooperate was a definite boost and I don't really mind coming home almost 5.30pm every single schooling day, for the past 3 months. I'm telling you, it's not an easy task handling 31 students especially for something which they were not exposed to that much.

Well, we didn't win - much to my expectation. Convent secured first place, again, after so many years. But, it was such a great experience for the students as they got to see other schools performed. However, I'm really proud of them because they did really well and I'd like to think that we gave quite a competition. Definitely a school to watch out for, I promise!

On top of that, I had to also handle the marching platoons together with other teachers. Oh boy, as if it wasn't emotional and tiring enough. Our school was the host, so you could imagine the pressure.

So anyway, to cut it short, our KPA platoons both won second place - quite a comeback for the boys after not winning for 3 years in a row. I wasn't around to share the victory as I was out with the Choral Speaking team. It's relieving that all was well and I finally can take a breather.

Only that was not really the case. I received a call yesterday afternoon saying that I have to be in PPD for 5 freakin' days. Like, hello??? I just got back and I could do with a little rest and some time with my students. Going to PPD means coming home late, sedentary days facing the laptop 9-5, and a cluttered head. Dealing with exam data is not a walk in the park. It's resentful but I have no choice but to do it anyway. Yang menurut perintah kan?

Oh, I can't wait for this to end!

yesterday

2011-03-19T11:39:00.007+08:00

I was supposed to meet up with Diyana and Ana for lunch yesterday at Mid Valley but the plan was cancelled at the 11th hour. Being the one who planned it, I was also the one who called it off.

Diyana texted me around 12pm (when we should already be meeting) that her Project Director just arrived and she can't leave until her boss leaves. And that could take hours. I, on the other hand, had to leave by 1.30pm. I texted Ana and found out she had to run some errands and estimated to arrive at our meeting place around 1-ish.

Considering how rushed everything would be, I decided that another lunch gathering would compensate this, especially when everybody would be around - even if it means having to wait for the upcoming school holidays. We could have met if I didn't have to follow such restricted timing. Sorry girls.

Since there was no more plan, I just had lunch with my mum, brother and sister who followed as they wanted to window-shop there.

On the way to The Gardens for lunch

While waiting for our Korean dishes @The Gardens' foodcourt
(pictures were Instragram-ed, an application my brother downloaded from iTunes. love how the pictures turned out to be very Polaroid-like)

And another one taken from last night's dinner,

@Nandos
(Heee, my husband is chubby kan? Everybody said so but him haha well, I think I'm gaining a few pounds too yikes!)

Happy Weekend, people!

a shot to the heart

2011-03-18T17:16:00.003+08:00

I did my colleague a favor a few days ago by taking over her extra class. Later that evening, she texted me asking how did the class go.

Her : Tasha, how was it? Did the kids respond to you, tell me if they didn't.
Me : It went well. I did writing with them. Don't worry.
Her : Worried about you, not them.

I was honestly taken aback. Her reply was nothing I expected and it took me awhile to really understand what she really meant (in which I didn't until now). Was she concerned that I wasn't capable of handling her class, which she passed to me in the first place? If she did, I don't think she should have said something as hurtful as that, should she?

All I'm getting is just negativity out of her message. A thank you would have been nice.

only words

2011-03-16T16:05:00.004+08:00

"I started knowing myself the day I stopped pleasing you" - Sue Sylvester from Glee

If there's one thing about Glee that I absolutely love, it's what the casts utter. I looked forward to every episode for any phrases that are worth quoting and there seem to be many. They make me laugh and cry. For the most part, I love Glee for the sarcasm it delivers. The above line was from yesterday's episode, in which I cried watching. It was simply beautiful and it touched my heart in every way. Well of course the line above was not in the beautiful part. More like in the scene where Sue was having a feud with her mother. But I like it all the same.

I was surprised I cried that bad, really. It was probably because the ending part centers on family and how beautiful and sacred weddings can be. The words, the toast proposed - they're all simple yet they get to the heart. Plus, the Bruno Mars' songs were simply a perfect coating to all of that.

Words are really beautiful if they are uttered sincerely and straight from the heart.

missed calls

2011-03-14T17:09:00.001+08:00

Not many know that I palpitate whenever any unknown number calls in. I've experienced enough to be this traumatized, not even once having the urge to answer the call.

I don't know about you, but my phone has been receiving calls from all sorts of service cards companies of late (well, actually for the past 7 months), which after several own investigations, turned out to be under one company. Let me tell you what they did. They will call, introduce themselves and said they are just checking on your credit cards, and somehow managed to con you into paying an amount of money for a year insurance and other benefits whenever you shop and if you want to travel. It's like a discount card of some sort that enables you to get special price at selected retail outlets and complimentaries from hotels.

I have to be honest, the first time I received that call, I was talked into believing that it's beneficial. Although I had to pay, I didn't mind because the benefits got me. The second time, I failed to bail myself out from a very persistent lady which left me regretting for having to pay another amount of money. The third and next calls somehow got me too because the tactic they used of asking me to confirm my details trapped me. No matter how persistent I was on wanting to disagree and accept the cards and insurance offered, I gave in. I just don't know why. I guess I was too tired to argue and I was too angry to speak anymore further.

Then one fateful day came. I received another call from a lady 'claiming' she's from another Service Card Center. My heartbeat was towering and I was breathing so fast. My hands were shaking literally.I was cursing silently as I decided to answer that unregistered number. The moment she uttered the words "Okay, saya hanya nak confirmkan maklumat Puan ya. Boleh tak..." I cut her in quickly. I said almost sternly that I am not interested and thank you for calling. The last thing I need right now is another card which you people keep on offering. Thank you. I put down the phone before she could even responded. I was satisfied. I did the same when another similar call received. I cut him at the introduction.

It struck me as weird though that my husband has never received such calls (yet). Thinking about it makes me so angry you have no idea. Now, I still receive incoming, unfamiliar numbers. I ignored them - yes, every single one of them - unless they text me later introducing themselves. You see, sometimes I have teachers from other schools calling to ask about Headcount, my students calling to ask this and that.

And for that, I'm sorry for any unanswered calls.

Owh, and just out of curiosity, have you experienced any of this?

favourite quote from current read

2011-03-08T19:02:00.003+08:00

"For me, it's not the least important whether something is or isn't a European product. And it's not in the least important to me either if a thing is genuine or fake. If you ask me, people's dislike of imitations has nothing to do with fake or real, but the fear that others might think they'd bought it cheap. For me, the worst thing is when people care about the brand and not the product at all. You know how there are some people who don't give importance to their own feelings, and care only what other people might say..."

Fusun, from The Museum of Innocence

favourites

2011-03-08T18:20:00.007+08:00

Of all the wedding gifts that we received, these are our favourite :

Those two felt cushions have got to be the cutest wedding gift ever, don't you think? See how cute they are lying on our made bed?

Thank you angah (my cousin) and husband, Aizat for the unexpectedly cute gift! And Ammar too! We love them so much you have no idea! :)

And, there's another which we thought was really cute too :
However, I know what you're thinking. We're quite baffled too as they're not a pair, both are left shoes and they won't be of any use but for keepsake. Still, very cute. Thank you to whoever that gave those to us, we still don't know who :)

car story

2011-03-07T17:53:00.004+08:00

It never really occurred to me that cars could really 'eat up' almost your entire savings for maintenance. It's only the first week of the month and I've had my car sent to the workshop twice and burnt my pocket pretty bad.

The first time it was sent to repair the damage done by yours truly, for I unknowingly hit the fire hydrant at school, which in retrospect was quite silly and embarrassing. The fire hydrant is fine, thanks for asking. Those things aside, the site of the dented door and the 'peeled' car skin was embraced with a huge sigh and a moment of silence before being alarmed by a student's scream, "Teacherrrr, pintu kereta kemek teruukkk!!!" Thus, second humiliation ensued as more students began to realise what just happened. I kept it cool, went out of the car and smiled, knowing that I'm going to burn my pocket just when I thought I could spend the recently received salary on whatever things. Anyway, the car is now as brand new, you could never have guessed that one of the doors suffered a terrible hit. As much as I'm happy and relieved, the money had to go.

The second time was just last week to fix the aircond. Unbeknown to many, my precious little car has been a sauna spot for more than 2 weeks now. I swear I've lost a few pounds on trips back and forth to school. Imagine a miserable-looking lady driving in the third lane with a sweaty face, with her palm constantly wiping the forehead. Menyedihkan, I know. Macam penat sungguh, mengalahkan orang yang membanting tulang di sawah padi. I don't know how I managed to put up with such warmth and uneasiness every single day for the past 2 weeks. Husband sent it to the workshop, the mechanic called, and delivered bad news.

"You punya cooling coil ah, sudah bocor. Mesti kasi ganti satu set"

Oh man! Knowing that the local spare parts do not cater to my kind of car, you have to take only the original one. And I know (not just any amount) money had to go. With a heavy heart and more burnt pocket, we said yes. And I am now a happy person with a fixed air-cond, you could wear a winter coat with only the lowest fan turned on!

3 months

2011-03-03T15:17:00.004+08:00

It's been 3 months now, alhamdulillah. Wow. How time flies. Truthfully, it already felt like ages :) The inai on my fingers have long faded, when exactly 3 months ago, they were glaringly red. Looking at the above picture brings back sweet memories that's overwhelming to the whole body. Tears formed at the corner of my eyes, too.

Here's to eternal happiness and more amazing years of spending time together.

I love you. You know I do :)

get it?

2011-03-01T18:01:00.003+08:00

Being married is a lot different in a sense that my priorities have now shifted. I embraced that very fact even before I got married. I think it doesn't get a person to be married to understand this.

So I get very upset and offended when some people (and even friends) just don't get it that my movements and time with them seem to be limited nowadays due to this very reason. As much as I'd like to meet them, have a chat over a drink, I can't do that on every single working night can I? I admit I've been keeping it very low ever since I got married and that's by choice not because my husband is a controlling freak. He has been really nice and sweet to allow me to meet my friends and sometimes go have dinner and breakfast with them at times. Even so, I feel bad for leaving him at home.

It's quite frustrating when people misinterpret my preference (or others' for that matter) for wanting to be at home with my husband as 'enslaving myself to him'. Like, hello? It's not like I never went out of the house. It's just that my social circle now is limited to my immediate family and really close friends. I never questioned your act or attitude even when you're married yourself (with a kid, may I add). You choose to go out and socialize more and I don't, so don't compare our marriages and our husbands (Okay, this is getting very personal and specific, I know haha).

So my point is, being married does change your lifestyle and your social life. Don't question it. Yes, you will still hang out and meet up with friends. While it was frequent before, now not so much. Even so, it is still your choice. Just don't drag the husbands into this and don't ever ever talk about others' marriages.

Get it?

feeling good

2011-02-24T13:00:00.002+08:00

Today has got to be the best day of the week, I suppose. The new timetable has allowed me to breathe a little. I now teach 24 periods per week with only 4 teaching periods today.

Yippee!!

I got so many things done. I can now focus on my headcount. And I have my own room to do all that. Air-conditioned, may I add :)

Apart from that, I'm feeling just happy. Happy happy happy happy. Alhamdulillah :)

I guess it's true what they say. When you start the day with the right foot, good things will ensue later of the day. And I have only Him to praise :)

Peking

2011-02-20T16:07:00.005+08:00

Beijing, 2010

Beijing is not the usual place a couple would normally go for a honeymoon. So it's no surprise when many seemed to raise an eyebrow in curiosity (eyeballs bulging, even) when they were told of our honeymoon spot.

Honestly, it wasn't our ultimate choice of honeymoon-ing either. Come to think of it, we didn't really have a specific place that we really wanted to go for our honeymoon. Bali was definitely not in the list. Thailand didn't seem to appeal much. We almost booked ourselves in one secluded island in Sabah, but decided to cancel the plan.

After much discussion and research online, it sort of decided that Beijing would be our destination. We thought a taste of winter would do us good. Since it would be my husband's first trip overseas (and our first as a married couple, obviously), the trip was very much looked forward to.

We traveled there in a tour group (PotoTravel, we love Poto!), much to everybody's protest. I get what they mean, it wouldn't be so much of a honeymoon then would it? But, we didn't seem to mind.

All I can say is Beijing was an eye-opener and a total fun - in - the - cold experience. I'm glad we went there. I will update more on our trip in the upcoming posts.

the usual syndrome

2011-02-20T10:34:00.003+08:00

And work starts tomorrow!

work that body

2011-02-19T07:40:00.006+08:00

I have never felt so certain in my life (except for the time when I decided to get married, obviously). This decision is something that I am very sure of, made not so much after long consideration in fact. It sort of just hit me right away.

I got the support from mum although my husband is still not saying yes or no.

I have decided to .......

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
..... get myself a treadmill!!!!

Oh yes I do!

You see, after I got married, I hardly go to the gym. In the course of 3 months, I have set foot only twice. In fact, a month before I got married, I have slowed down my visits because I was too tied up with the preparation. Now after, everyday I vowed to go to the gym but after an exhausting day at school, I would normally take the route back home.

My life after marriage pretty much changed my daily routine. While I could easily go to the gym anytime I want before, it's not so easy anymore now. I used to go for my favourite classes, BodyStep and BodyAttack twice a week but those classes normally end at 7.30pm. Being single should not be a problem as I would then take my shower and pray there. So coming home at 8pm is not an issue. Although some would argue "what seems to be the problem now?", I say I have bigger commitments. Going to the gym is not my priority anymore.

I personally do not want my husband to be coming home without me around and without someone to greet him at the door. Oh yes, I do that everyday. I want to be able to prepare him dinner and not for him to just heat the food I've left. Besides, dad has, on numerous occasions 'advised' me to stop going if all I do is pay the bill every month but never go. Very true isn't it?

This ultimate decision of wanting to buy a treadmill is something that I think would be a very good long-term investment. I could continue working out in the comfort of our home, anytime that I want to. It's quite sad thinking that I would have to end my 4 year-membership with the gym, where I have come to know a few nice souls. The thought of leaving those classes I love is definitely sad, but I'll be okay. There's always Astro Lifestyle :)

So, the hunt for the perfect treadmill has begun!

Stress issue

2011-02-07T16:42:00.005+08:00

I try not to be too stressed out for it's only the second month of the year. But I have a whole lot of reasons to be. Of course, as many of you could have guessed, it's school-related. What else.

I'd like to think that my school (although many refer to it as one at its comfort zone) is neglected. We are short of more than ten teachers and every year this seems to be the case. What more quite a number of teachers were granted their transfers last year (all of them teaching critical subjects), the school is pretty much...lost. I don't know what is the issue, but every other secondary school in the Klang district seems to be getting new teachers (GSST not GSTT) but us. It's really frustrating because for one, teachers (read : we) are getting more reliefs despite the already suffocating timetable, and second, classes are left with no subject teachers, still. It's really worrying because part of our performance in the public examinations is a result of not having enough teachers, especially for critical subjects like Mathematics, BM, and Science. While I should be thankful with the number of GSTTs coming in and out every year, I cannot help but have this tinge of pessimism in me. Thinking about it is quite stressful, really.

Because there are shortage of teachers, then there is the work which comes in abundance. Don't even get me started on this. We can't avoid the workload because no matter how much we complain, how much we try to avoid, we still have to embrace it because at the end of the day, there is no one else, but you. Posts are being thrown to teachers to fill in the "vacancy". Some teachers who are holding important posts in school still have to be class teachers. You see, being a class teacher is very demanding on its own. To have other posts combined, you're winner if you manage to keep yourself together all the time. I know I've lost it some time ago, but that was when I was just a class teacher. And right now, I have to deal with it on my own. Stressful, much?

To make it even "tragic", our Headmistress just retired last year so the school had lost its wing, if you could call it that way. The first month, to me,was quite chaotic. I think all of us took the blame because it's a team effort. We cannot blame solely on the administration. Despite the scars our previous HM left us with, I still think she's a great HM. An iron lady that she was, we got used to her way of working that our performance in the previous PMR increased notches than before and the school got its revamp of some kind. No matter how hard she's been to me and the rest, there's this fondness that I've developed for her. And because she's also my first 'Big Boss', she's set that benchmark for the next HM to come, which, is my nex tstress-issue.

Ever since the new HM set foot to our school, I have never once been able to really meet her. I've been away quite a lot and on days when she decided to have meetings with the teachers, I won't be around. So I've heard a lot about her. Everybody is grateful that she is nothing like our previous HM (kebajikan akan terjaga, alhamdulillah), but I personally think when you are being really nice to people and you don't show you're the boss, people will absolutely take you for granted. I noticed that more and more teachers are simply taking CRKs for reasons unbeknown to me and MCs. Not that I am a nosy person, but if you are really a responsible person (teacher) you would think twice to do so since the school is already having shortage of teachers. Now that some teachers decided to take leave, the remaining teachers in school are the relief coolies, who else. Quite stressful, don't you think?

If there's one thing my previous HM had taught me well, it is not to be selfish and no matter what happens, we have to serve our clients well. And the clients being our students. So my point is, I'm stressed out thinking that my current HM won't be as strict and effective as the one before, especially in terms of attendance and teaching.

I think too much ke? Over concern kot. Am I the only one? At least I've let it out. I write more when I'm stressed.

Despite that all, I'm thankful that I have great colleagues who have never stopped helping each other. I'm thankful that my students can light up my day with their silly jokes. And I'm thankful that I am still alive to serve my students in humility and torch their hearts with knowledge that Allah has given me.

Thank you for reading :)

friend in bleed

2011-01-31T17:17:00.004+08:00

I sometimes wonder how friends can eventually drift apart and silently loathe each other. Because I've been in one too many situations that I just don't know what or who to blame.

Circumstances are most likely the culprit. But I think we allow the awkwardness to swamp us, leaving us cold and silent.

I did what I had to. Although it's not always my fault. But I'm done, because the other party never seems to think that they're wrong, that they are always right. Even if they're not. Sometimes, saying sorry should not be the hardest thing.

I guess people forget that being selfish and highly egoistical just add on to the scar. Because a conscience, a genuine conscience is all it takes to close the void.

But you know what's worse? The fact that we still see each other and fake that friendly smile and hugs, like it's something that we can't avoid.

And in the end, we still call ourselves friends. Pathetic, much?

thank you

2011-01-29T07:47:00.004+08:00

I think I might need to start a thankful / grateful note every single day to remind myself how (truly) blessed I am. (Truly x - inspired!) And that life is too short to sow hatred and wasting time regretting (and worrying!)

hope

2011-01-29T07:25:00.002+08:00

"Hope is a thing with feathers,
that perches in the soul"

I am suddenly feeling very Dickinson-ish. Have to keep reminding myself to keep on hoping and praying.

Just don't hope too much, maybe?

when you greet

2011-01-25T15:12:00.003+08:00

I received this forwarded email from my brother-in-law. Have a read.

*************************************************

SIAPA YANG MENGGUNAKAN PERKATAAN "SALAM"? Apakah maksud disebaliknya??

Maka berpalinglah (hai Muhammad) dari mereka dan katakanlah: "Salam (selamat tinggal)".
Kelak mereka akan mengetahui (nasib mereka yang buruk). (QS. 43:89)

baik gunakan… ASSALAMUALAIKUM or ASSALAMUALAIKUM WARAHMATULLAHIWABARAKATUH...

Ilmu utk dikongsi bersama. Sekadar peringatan untuk semua rakan-rakan muslim yang lain.

Pagi semalam saya dengar radio ikim (91.50 fm). Ustaz Zawawi ada cerita tentang sunnah Rasulallah s.a.w. Antara yang dibincangkannya ialah tentang bab cara memberi salam.

Menurut ustaz Zawawi Yusof, Baginda SAW memberi salam dengan lafaz “Assalamualaikum” dan menjawab salam dari para sahabat baginda dengan salam yang lengkap iaitu “Waalaikumussalam warahmatulallahhi wabarakatuh”
Ringkasnya, baginda SAW akan ; Beri salam dengan ucapan - “Assalamualaikum” dan… Jawab salam - “Waalaikumussalam warahmatulallahi wabarakatuh”

Lagi satu, perlu diingatkan juga semasa menjawab salam,
saya dengar ramai orang jawab salam dengan ucapan yang tidak tepat.

Jawab salam yang betul ialah ;

“WAALAIKUMUSSALAM”dan bukannya yang selalu saya dengar iaitu ;

“WAALAIKUMSALAM”

Apabila kita ingin berkirim salam pada orang lain, hendaklah kita berkata
“ Kirim salam, assalamualaikum pada ASHREE ye” contoh lerr…
Dan bukannya : “ Kirim salam kat ASHREE yer”
Dan jangan pula memandai-mandai tambah perkataan seperti ” Ko tolong kirim salam maut kat dia yer“.

Statement ini walaupun dalam nada bergurau, tapi ia adalah menyalahi syariat dan berdosa, walaupun sekadar gurauan!
Selain itu, janganlah kita menggantikan perkataan “Assalamualaikum” dengan “A’kum” dalam sms atau apa sekalipun melalui tulisan.

Jika perkataan “Assalamualaikum” itu panjang, maka hendaklah kita ganti dengan perkataan “As Salam” yang membawa maksud sama dengan “Assalamualaikum”.

Sesama lah kita memberitahu member-member yang selalu sangat guna shortform “A’kum” dalam sms ataupun email. Perkataan ‘A K U M‘ adalah gelaran untuk orang-orang Yahudi untuk orang-orang bukan yahudi yang bermaksud ‘BINATANG‘ dalam Bahasa Ibrani.

Ia singkatan daripada perkataan ‘Avde K okhavim U Mazzalot’ yang bermaksud ‘HAMBA-HAMBA BINATANG DAN ORANG-ORANG SESAT‘.

Jadi, mulai sekarang jika ada orang hantar shortform “A’kum“, kita ingatkan dia guna “As Salam” kerana salam ialah dari perkataan “Assalamualaikum“.

Jangan guna “Bye” kerana“Bye” adalah jarum sulit Kristian yang bermaksud “Di Bawah Naungan Pope.”

Jangan guna “A’kum” kerana“A’kum” bermaksud “Binatang” dalam bahasa Yahudi.

Jangan guna “Semekom” kerana“Semekom”bermaksud “Celaka Kamu.”

Gunakan perkataan“ As Salam” sebagai singkatan bagi“Assalammualaikum.”

*********************************************

Do share this bit of information to others.

the road to sanding day

2010-11-30T18:55:00.007+08:00

I'm bored. No, don't get me wrong. Married life is awesome, really. It's the part when he leaves for work and I'm left at home with nothing to do that is eating me out! 12 hours is a pretty long period, don't you think?

One more day and then his long leave commences. Yeay! I almost forget that we have our receptions to go to this weekend. I'm pretty sure it's going to be tiring but it's okay. We're doing this only once, so we're putting the exhaustion at the back of our heads. Plus, we have our honeymoon waiting the following week (which I obviously cannot wait!), so I can't complain can I?

Wow, I'm still very excited and psyched for this weekend. Thursday is our fitting day and I hope everything will go out well with the outfit.

So yesterday, we had our neighbours from our old place came to our house to help prepare the doorgifts. I'm so touched and moved that they willingly came all the way and offered to help. It was definitely a fun and chaotic session with all the makciks chit-chatting non-stop.

One more day to go and everything will be settled, insyaAllah.

p/s It still feels surreal!!

Aku Terima Nikahnya

2010-11-29T09:17:00.001+08:00

Alhamdulillah, at exactly 11.34am, we were legally husband and wife. Syukur sangat-sangat. Didn't drop any tears (!). Everything went well infact, I couldn't be more happy. I'm still overwhelmed :)

Pictures by Eda

Saya dah kahwin!!! :)

in a few hours

2010-11-27T07:07:00.003+08:00

In a few hours, saya akan bernikah (!!!!!!)

Doakan segalanya akan berjalan baik dan lancar :)

Macam tak percaya!

Thanks Kak Feeda for the cake :)

when everything seems surreal

2010-11-25T06:45:00.003+08:00

One more day. Why is it so hard to believe? It never occured to me that my life is really about to change come Saturday in ways that I can never imagine (or expected). This whole week, I've experienced a whirlwind of emotions which are quite difficult to comprehend, really.

Not that I didn't see it coming but I've written before that I appear very calm to many people. I was surprised myself at how cool I am taking this marriage thingy and the fact that I never once had a second thought (!). I mean, it's big right? Now that it's nearer (so near I can almost envision what's going to happen), the beating of the heart seems to grow faster that it scares me sometimes.

Getting married is a big thing. I'm building a new home with a person that I personally chose, the one I vowed to spend the rest of my life with and come what may, we'll still be together through thick and thin. We've had the most wonderful 8 years together and we will embark on a new beautiful journey in a matter of hours. Hours! If that's not overwhelming enough.

I'm praying, and hoping and wishing that everything (I mean everything from the majlis, to the akad, my outfit, the make-up, the food, the weather, the hantarans, the tok kadi) will turn out absolutely okay. And if ever I cry that day, let it be tears of joy and contentment. Not simply because I am (going to be) a legal wife to him, but also because He answers my prayers.

Please pray for us, friends, that everything will be made easy InsyaAllah. To Kay Kamal, Selamat Bernikah esok! My prayers and best wishes to you and Luqman.

a joyful weekend

2010-11-22T17:41:00.007+08:00

My brother is, alhamdulillah, back for good. We fetched him at the airport on Saturday night. Now that the family is complete, everything is starting to fall into place.

The next day (Sunday), my homies and I went for our breakfast at the infamous Nasi Lemak Longkang in Taman Sri Andalas. I know, what's with the name right? The stall is actually built over a ditch hence the name. It is also known as Nasi Lemak Haji Mail - the owner, who happens to be a friend of my dad's. However, outsiders or some people do not know the name, so they always refer to it as "gerai yang kat longkang tu eh?" Hehe Despite it's stinky name, the food there are all very very delicious. Besides nasi lemak, they have lontong, mi/mihun soup, soto, and curry mee. This stall was once featured in Warung Kita.

Then at 12.30pm, Rizal and myself made our way to my classmate's wedding in UKM, Bangi. Wan Nadiah and I were classmates back in TKC and we were deskmate once. We reached the wedding hall at around 1.30pm and I was so excited to see a table full with my other classmates - some I haven't met for a long time! However, we didn't manage to get our picture taken wth the bride and groom :( They were busy and we had to rush. I had a great time catching up with friends and reminiscing on the good old days :)

Upon arrival

We shifted to Amie's table before all of us decided to leave at the same time

The 'bakal pengantins' :)

Anyhow, congratulations Wanea and Talhah! May you have a blessed and beautiful marriage InsyaAllah :)

So, it's just a matter of days now :)

can hardly wait

2010-11-18T10:15:00.004+08:00

A colleague said to me a few days ago that I am extremely calm for someone who will be getting married in approximately 10 days. I think I have to agree on that. I mean, I don't exactly have to go crazy looking all worried do I?

Despite the jitters I've been having once in a while, I'm all set. You see, I don't go round telling people whatever that's bothering me or anything related to the wedding preparation. In fact, some of my friends are pretty much in the dark of what's going to happen next week. I'm not being secretive, it's just that some things you don't need to disclose to others. I tell when being asked and I inform if I feel the need to do so.

Because I have my family support my back, I can say that the preparation has been truly a family affair. So far, I'm not feeling at all stressed out throughout my preparation, alhamdulillah. He has made it easy for all of us and I cannot be more happy.

I can only hope for the best and anticipate the day patiently. I have envisioned everything since day 1, and to have it set just the way I wanted would be absolutely perfect. InsyaAllah.

Anyway, I received our first wedding gift today! It was from my dad's colleague. Well, technically it's the second after my dad's gift hehe Anyhow, thanks Uncle Yip and wife!

Last day of school tomorrow! (Although I'm silently cursing. Why do we have to come back after the 2 days of holiday again? Urrghh!)

gratitude

2010-11-12T23:45:00.003+08:00

Asking for help doesn't come easily for me, so you'd better believe that, if I actually do make a request, I've exhausted all other options. Normally, I would try my best to sort whatever it is myself before turning to others. I don't feel great about making myself beholden to people when I know I can do it myself. That's just how I am.

Having said that, it's no surprise that when I need help, I don't really know how to. Stringing suitable words prove to be difficult as I'm not used to it. So when close friends offered to help for anything that needs to be helped for the wedding before I could actually ask them, I agreed. I mean who wouldn't right? Especially for an event like this, extra hands would be very much appreciated. Ni pun rasa macam menyusahkan sangat but I decided to give it a break. After all, it's my wedding so I have the rights to be pampered and feel special once in a while.

Thanks so much for those who have helped and will be helping out soon. And my special thanks to my mum and sister, my bridesmaids in its true sense. I could have never done it without you two :)

15 more days to go!